fuck medicine...

ugh, my ass has been on this emotional bender for the greatest amount of time thus far, stemming from monday last week til today and still ongoing.


At first I thought it might have been a reaction to me suddenly stopping the herbal supplements I had been taking, that this aggressive emotional imbalance might be a side-effect of suddenly dropping a new medication routine, only to realize that such a shit wouldn't last more than a few days, and shouldn't occur days after ending a med routine.


I am grateful, VERY GRATEFUL, as horrible as I may show it, if ever. EBG, know that I love what you do for me, and like you way too much for you to leave me anytime soon. Sappy as it is, but you've been one of the few pillars of support that have kept me stable.


So once again I go on the pursuit of love. on Adam4Adam. Ugh. Well in my pursuit I find a guy my heart automatically flutters for. Mind you, throughout my time in the world of sex, I have learned to differentiate between lust and love, want and need. This guy seemed like a want at first, my latest catch - but it became more than that immediately, I have yet to meet him and I sense something more. I sense this desire to more than be with him, to more than fuck him/be fucked. I sense I need to grow with him, get old, raise children, the dogs, the horses and cattle on our farm in Wisconsin- the hell? Where are all these strange ass thoughts coming from?

I message him, and because I'm a bitch and need to remember everything, his name is Ciro aka yardley. Well, some days go by before I actually get a response - wha? At first he's all 'hey, hi, how are ya', I'm all, 'you list as working in IT? you trying to hone in on my PC game here at home?' and he's all 'naw, my ex used to do that, i don't know any of it' etc, etc. Well some more txts fly by when finally we decided to meet - well fuck do I get happy, I'm fucking inebriated on the fact that we get to meet! WOOT! Well, we do meet at his place, which is about a 5 minute walk from me - HOW GREAT?! FINALLY I CAN HAVE MYSELF A BOYFRIEND WITHIN MINUTES OF ME!

Get to his place, he had been complaining earlier of his back and I told him I'd give him a massage. Usually I'm really good but I'm nervous about pulling off his shirt so I do it with his shirt on which is just bad and not up to the standards I strive for - he pulls it off and instantly I burn up at the site of his flesh, his body is AMAZING, he's toned yet fleshy, this great suppleness to his body. I begin working up my masseur skills and this time I finally get to a level I feel confident in, working his lower back and his shoulders, aiming for stress points and focusing on dispelling the tension in his back. This gets him going to the point of light moaning and shifting, he flips around and begins reciprocating my sexual tension, kissing me, grabbing my face down towards his, leaning me in to him, his lips so fucking soft, the feel of them, glorious against mine. Hastily we tear each other's clothes off, nearly ripping mine off as his undoes his pants. I'm there on his bed in my underwear, he's hovering above me in his, cocks hard, we begin to grind.

Ciro has a massive member, a really thick fucking dick and I can sense the thickness of his cock against me and easily make out he's around 3" at the base of his cock, not measuring under his sack but solely his cock alone, rivaling the size of EBG's cock, if not besting it in girth but not length. The heat of out makeout session grows intensely, and candles he has lit earlier begin to flicker wildly and grow slightly, pouring more light into the room. I can make out his features even further as his gets up to take a breathe and check me out, he's fucking GLORIOUS, his body is amazing and I'm absolutely INFATUATED - is that it? Is this not love but infatuation? Fuck.

We resume our passion, underwear flies across the room, he begins working on me; the nape of my neck, my chest, my belly - to which he jokingly blows into my belly button, face fully in my stomach, making a farting noise as you would your child - a giggle from both of us and he continues downward, I'm loving EVERY FUCKING BIT, this is new, this is exciting, and this is what I anticipated and more. He senses what I want and I'm not nervous or tense any more, I'm willing and ready. He sniffs my crotch, sniffs my freshly washed skin and begins to lick my throbbing cock - FUCK does his tongue feel amazing, I'm already pre-cumming as I always do but this- this is insane, it's wild.

He works my cock over, works it thoroughly without leaving me slobbering wet, and then comes up and begins to kiss me. Whoa, his lips are amazing; soft, full and so fucking kissable, suckable, moist.

one month went by...

One fucking month. All spent on wasting valuable time @ American Apparel.

I was their in-house Computer Tech for 1 month to only be unceremoniously fired today.


mofo's. But yea, the company internally is in shambles and not many people believe or understand me. How has it been so profitable, especially during this rough time? Because they just chew and spit, and apparently that's cheaper for them then to Taste and Swallow. Spent a glorious amount of money on me as a new hire, only to expend me once they saw fit. Bleh, I have a dirty taste in my mouth now. Or maybe that's the onions...


So I've now stabilized at 165, however I'm hoping those recent 5 lbs weren't muscle and were fat, or that my improper eating this past few days has gotten to me and I can't do a proper chin-up at the moment. Either way, I need to start on my upper body pronto, I really want to surprise the family before Thanksgiving, get them to realize how fucking FAT they are (at least 1 aunt and 1 mother in particular). Unfortunately, I'm becoming very Marc Jacobs-ish; small, slender, female legs, and buff, defined upper body. My mother said how I'm developing a woman's body and that just crushed my recent happy high.


So now I drop by the AA offices tomorrow to pick up my final check, ew. The doorbell just rang, brb.


.... Ugh, neighbor upstairs locked herself out.

I registered to vote, Republican of course. Obama/Palin '08! woooo!!!
Wait 'til 2012 rolls around, Palin/Navarette! hehe.

Hrm... what else...
I made two young men happy, VERY happy. Got my little bro Fable II spechul edition, he DIEEEDD, like "NIN-TEN-DO!" died. and got a fully paid reserve of Empire: Total War, out Feb 9, he DIIIIEDD, and like "My aunt got my Disney Stocks, what do I do with that?! This is way better!" sorta way, glorious.

Ran into Max at the pivotal, climaxal point of my AA career, lookin' swanky and all, all Hilary Swank and shit, and got him oozing over moi, he haw.
Wait 'til he hears I was fired...

EBG has been pounding my hole recently. and like, REALLY pounding. He suddenly got to witness how a REAL Leo plays in bed, and he's been loving it. I've been loving it too, feeling him thrust his cock inside me, feeling the tense stiffness as it makes every thrust, every insertion into my silo- a rocket coming home, something so inconceivable. I told him earlier a little booze and my pain threshold lowers, but at the same time I'm still coherent and feel everything- my ass is tingling at the thought, hehe. But yessum, he got to feel good ol' me and I sorta replicated it again after dinner at Cafeteria, though not as great as that night. I guess knowing I was going to be removed from office got me searching for my ol' high, sex.

It also helped tremendously knowing EBG likes me, really likes me. I really really like him to and hope he gets that, even if I suck at showing it.


Cankre sores suck bad female scat ass. I still have had this sore on the inner part of my lip for the past two weeks, why? fucking drinking 'non-dairy' DAIRY creamer in my coffee, that and massive amounts of sodium intake. Those two fuckers fuck my system up and now I have a constant reminder until I normalize my diet and cleanse my body. Having EBG suck my face though helped, and creates a wild though painful experience. I'm enjoying it and want him to continue.


I also want to buff up yet stay small so he can have me as his fuck toy. Blow up dolls are passe.




Court judgment? 240.20 Disorderly Conduct. The equivalent to me trespassing. HAW! Fuck you Staples! That chapter of my life will soon be closed as I finish paying off the laptop that is now mein, MAHNER-DAMF-HEMPNITCHSE LON-DON!!!! lol, I love that german dude Patrick from Pam Ann's DVD.

My thighs are thick again, ugh, they're starting to rub and now I gots a biker's bump, eww.


Which, btw, the glorious Pacific I was riding around with the new fan-tab $90 brakes I bought? That got trashed and now I only own its brakes. Motherfuck, I'm bike shiva. and That's currently what's happening with my replacement bike, a huge ass trail bike, fucking, made my ass grow and inch taller just so I can pedal properly, legit, you gotta see this thing! It's a Raleigh (RAL-LEE), lemme pull up an image:
http://i402.photobucket.com/albums/pp105/Black-Francis/PA310001.jpg

And the Pilly craigslist post to match:
http://philadelphia.craigslist.org/bik/904120070.html


Uh... 35" standover? good for 6'1" AND ABOVE?!?! Thuh fuck, my small 5'10" frame cannot handle, I'm buying myself a new bike, and I think I found it, for $400 :D

so yea... i got the heater just blasting my back, 'bout to go to sleep.