So just got home from Trockadero - still in great shape and ever so glorious! Went with EBG and had a great time - though I was taken aback by his lack of knowledge regarding ballet performances, particularly the pas de deux- its technicalities, and the something else but my mind is slowing dying at the moment, unsure why. However I will give him credit for actually knowing the NAMES of the moves and poses as I've long forgotten what anything is called beyond a pirouette.
Well the night sorta went sour when he invited me over to his place. These past few days I've been feeling uneasy and totally out of myself - I haven't masturbated in well over 5 days and even my wanting to watch pornography has declined sharply. Well I went over to use his bathroom with which he had yet to replace the toilet roll so I thought I should do it as gratitude. Well when putting the extra roll away, I took note of his box of condoms and confirmed my suspicions - he is sexually active (duh). Earlier this past week I had been speaking to a recent hookup of mine and again he brought up his other hookups (UGH, EWWW?! I really don't care to know that!) and how he can't stand the thought of guys he hooked up with hooking up with others besides him. I explained to him how that correlates to male masculinity and dominance, machismo if you will, and that I too feel the same. Well seeing EBG's stack replenished got me all unnerved and grossed out. So I had to leave pronto.
Speaking of these past few days. I promptly replaced my group of hookups with a new generation, to no avail, and have been cutting them off as well - waste of time.
Also have been seriously dating - by a twist of luck/faith/chance - the cutest guy I've yet to meet named Richie. I recommended Nichelle to CBD.com (crazyblinddates.com) and thought to retry once again the day of my recommending it to her - well it totally worked and got me a date for the SAME evening I chose. Details shall be posted later but we've been seeing each other for a while now, went on three dates together, and it's been great. This has also been contributing to my recent lack of anything sexual - which is another story.
Sunday, December 28, 2008
Monday, December 08, 2008
erotic... cah.
wooo, lol, this weekend was weird and fast - whirled right by. That and I'm totally impervious to this cold weather, as I type my fingers and toes have lost [heat] circulation but I'm not in pain.
Well I've been re-weeding my life, again. again. Ugh, very agitating, but necessary. a4a profile is not being put down, I talk to too many guys there where nothing goes forward, I'm not into childish games, I want to fuck AND NOW. Fuck the chit chat and let's get to some raw d/d-free fucking. Out with the condoms!
Needless to say - and quite contradictory - after Ciro it's been all types of safe sex, blah. Well, almost, poo.
So I've cut out Chris, an uber indie guy I was messing around with. Ended on a mutual note and I believe he's found someone now who he likes so that's a plus. Trying to end shit with Ciro but he has my number, blah, ultimately might have to move my number to a new carrier so I can properly block folks. Thankfully Motorola's can soft-block but that's not enough for me. My adventure with Gio, aka Tuff-n-kute/cute was short lived, would've liked more out of it, and maybe I can attract him again for kinky shit, but I'll let that die on its own. I'm still messing with Lance and Vlad - gonna see those two tonight, that should be fun.
In other bodily news, I developed yet ANOTHER ass pimple, ugh. I need to stop riding my bike without undies, fucking sweat collects in all types of not fun. But, my workout regime has been paying off and now my arms and abs are now more readily visible, which calls to mind, I need to workout now.
Well I've been re-weeding my life, again. again. Ugh, very agitating, but necessary. a4a profile is not being put down, I talk to too many guys there where nothing goes forward, I'm not into childish games, I want to fuck AND NOW. Fuck the chit chat and let's get to some raw d/d-free fucking. Out with the condoms!
Needless to say - and quite contradictory - after Ciro it's been all types of safe sex, blah. Well, almost, poo.
So I've cut out Chris, an uber indie guy I was messing around with. Ended on a mutual note and I believe he's found someone now who he likes so that's a plus. Trying to end shit with Ciro but he has my number, blah, ultimately might have to move my number to a new carrier so I can properly block folks. Thankfully Motorola's can soft-block but that's not enough for me. My adventure with Gio, aka Tuff-n-kute/cute was short lived, would've liked more out of it, and maybe I can attract him again for kinky shit, but I'll let that die on its own. I'm still messing with Lance and Vlad - gonna see those two tonight, that should be fun.
In other bodily news, I developed yet ANOTHER ass pimple, ugh. I need to stop riding my bike without undies, fucking sweat collects in all types of not fun. But, my workout regime has been paying off and now my arms and abs are now more readily visible, which calls to mind, I need to workout now.
Tuesday, December 02, 2008
fuck medicine... part deux
Ciro began talking to me again. I wonder how this will turn out.
-----------------------
He works my cock over, does an amazing job, his barely thick lips encase the head of my cock, slowly - magically, encircling my phallus, encasing me in his throat, my summation, my summary, what I am is now banging into his tonsils - rhythmically, I'm throat fucking him.
My legs are tossed up at me, and now he's licking down my shaft to my asshole - imagine the pleasure I'm feeling to know he - a white, Tool-loving, ROCK-HARD italian body is going down to one of my most sensitive zon- FUCK, his tongue reached my asshole and now it's finding- nay, pushing its way into my hole, licking its way into me, into my orifice. My eyes go lazy, my legs fall limp, my cock stiffens, yet all I can think of is wild horses, ocean waves, cars honking, all I can think of to calm me otherwise I'm putting him into a leglock, a bearhug, anything to keep him mine without letting him go.
I feel exposed, slightly raw yet wet- moist, he looks up from time to time to check on me - He looks like the fucking Devil, Devil Incarnate, reborn to fuck me over - literally and figuratively, something out of a Tenacious D song sans the comedy.
He's done, he gets up and gazes at me - I swear with what could have been the longest 10 seconds of my life - at which point the candle lit to the left above me FLARES with dramatic intensity, everything is a scary pagan red; fierce, tormenting colors that shock me and remind me of my youth, of my stupidity.
However this is just 10 seconds, he leans down and shares with me my taste, what my asshole taste like - sweet, warm, silicone from my douching earlier, the candle doesn't quit with its blare, and I think to myself this candle is getting excited at the wrong moment, it's all too soon. Asshole of a candle.
He leans back up and gives me this curt grin, so fucking devilish, so wrong. Yet so right. His lip curls, his face is gaunt, his eyes are a deep blue, a pair you can easily get lost in and never come back - I waded into them and was pulled by the rift, only now recovering weeks later. He reaches over to his side of the bed to grab a condom, I reach for my lube - Eros Premium Silicone, once my enemy now my friend. Unfortunately, as little a time it took to grab the necessities, it took just as much time for him to become flaccid. He's hot, steaming, and ridiculously sweaty - something that drives me wild and makes me love him even further - as I lick the sweat off his face, his chest, his arms, his pits, his head, he's at first embarrassed, but eases up and smiles, jerking, trying to regain composure and not kill the mood. I love his slightly salty taste - if salty at all, he's perfect, he taste perfect, he's unbelievably clean, clean like me, my first days with EBG.
Fuck this, you're D/D free? I'm D/D free. I rip his condom off, and lord knows what I did, I did something that made him regain his force, he's now hard again, and I take this opportunity to soften my hole and jumps on his dick, his cock. YES, fuck is it ever so GLORIOUS! HE FEELS AMAZING - HE'S IN ME! HIS FUCKING DICK IS IN ME! AND WHAT IS THIS? HE'S FUCKING ME! Up. Down. Up. Down, he's fucking my hole and I don't know what to do - I'm in auto-pilot and he's co-piloting with the computer. We're working in unison and his dick stiffens so hard I feel it might rip me if he moves the wrong way, as if this is the only chance for us to insert this volatile rod of nitro into a pool of sulfuric acid without jutting into the walls, the only time we can violate all laws of nature and science, except this moment is on repeat and the walls of acid are the walls of my ass and this rod of doom is his 7 inches pounding me - no, he lied, it's 8, if not 9 - he's reached what I call the 3rd ring, the last muscular sphincter I control before you're reaching up into my intestine, into my colon and various other organ-ical shit. My pushing out and his pounding me are driving me wild, so much so I came on him, hot steamy cum flying from the tip of my cock without the need for me to touch it, the first of multiple orgasms in a fun evening/morning.
We shuffle and change position, I'm on my back, and he's hovering above me, plowing into my hole, raw, condom-free, filling me, the void that existed in my life up until this moment. I fill I never need to eat again as long as he's in me, he's the protein I need and the cover to my heart murmur.
Our fucking this way last about 10... 20... now 30 minutes as I keep looking at the time, I've cummed again and am re-hard, he's still hard, sweating on me, loving my hole - I sense something but disregard it. My hole's feeling raw, feeling good, clean, filled to capacity, hot, ready to rip open yet strong and durable.
We fuck in various positions for various lengths of time - off the edge of his bed, missionary, my ass raised for him to dip into me, on my stomach, and on all fours.
We back to missionary, my head propped up on his pillow, I'm working my cock over, my legs are spread wide, my hole's tense, I'm about to blow again, we're locked in a stare, his devilish grin reappears, I can barely keep composure but I keep my look on him, I feel I can't fail him this look, I feel his cock jutterly differently this time, like it's preparing - and like a good, hungry bottom, I whisper those sweet three words: cum. in. me. His grin broadens, he knows what to do, and with the next few thrusts, I feel his cum inside me. I feel the hotness of his fluids, almost a little too hot, it's an odd sting at first but I love it, it's new exciting, stupid and dangerous but It's what I wanted. He sighs and moans heavily, his lip curt, curled, and his face in a shift of pleasure pain, he's breathing heavily, his body is wet, soaked from sweat, he looses back strength and collapses on me, his body wetting mine, drenching me, I feel like I just stepped out into a summer shower, something I haven't done for years, it's reminiscent of my youth. Stupid years. I want to cry, I grab him and make him mine, I want to stay with him, I want to be him, I want to be a white italian with dark brown hair and a thick meaty cock, virtually smooth, clean skin, and scentless, saltless sweat. He's humor returns and he mock snores, I giggle. We stay in each others' embrace for what may well be forever.
Except it isn't. He rolls off of me and reaches over for a light. I'm infatuated but like a good bottom I clean up, lay on my stomach, and service him, lapping up his sweat, grabbing a towel and doing the necessities, then laying their looking good for him. He throws me a grin which warms my heart. Then goes back to smoking and checking his cell. I'm inebriated. This happen, this happened to me. Finally the world is handing me what I want and deserve.
Time passes by, days and this continues. Unfortunately his has to battle this bacterial infection in his stomach so he's on azithromycin and percocet. Both which cause the next few sessions to become a bit laborious yet equally satisfy and gratifying. My spidey senses are still tingling each time but I ignore them.
Why the fuck did I ignore them?
He wants me to top him. This news comes up days after a rift silently and quickly comes into existence between us. Why the fuck wasn't I born with a bigger dick?! Fucking huge nose, feet and hands, and with all the black in my puerto rican ass, I wasn't handed down the fucking dick that matches? This is my curse? Fuck you God.
The rift was created by tension with his roommate Shaun and my talking to him. Apparently his roommate's a nobody scum from Ciro's POV, but from talking with him recently, he's the most sane normal dude you can expect from the alternative scene, folks who are usually more calm and respectable than mainstream fuck up society.
This revelation has opened the murmur, if not forced a blunt 13" radius pole into my hole and tore it the fuck open. The virgo in me dies, the calm in me dies. I drop patience behind the bed. My good luck is gone and shit is slowly going wrong. This happens before Nichelle while I'm working on her laptop in the 24 hr Starbucks at Union. She doesn't notice because I'm an actor, yet I'm ready to get up and bash someone's skull in right this minute. FUCK YOU. WHO ARE YOU LOOKING AT FAGGOT? TALK A HIKE NIGGER. What the hell is wrong with me? Who pressed the suicide button? Wasn't that shit ripped off the panel? Where did the unicorns and rainbows go? Who am I? I wake up the next morning to shave off the sides of my head, I didn't like my hair and I want a mohawk- DON'T FUCK WITH ME. I extreme douche. My asshole bleeds, fuck it, who cares? I'm raw clean and need to moisturize, cracked skin's a good sign, I've begun biting my nails again.
I haven't spoken to Ciro in a while. I thought it would be good if he came to me, seeing as he had a life before me, I'm just a hookup, the holidays are coming up and he has family and friends to attend to before me. I'm not his boyfriend and I don't need to push myself into his life.
I've been seeing other guys in the meantime and this new guy I've been seeing is Ciro's hispanic replica. Except slimmer, with a HOT southern accent, not on fucking whack medication (though he also smokes weed and cigs, no biggie) and has a luscious cock as well. I care for him so his identity will not be revealed, just know I'm happy with him and will not fuck up this one.
Well I took Ciro's hispanic replica's laptop to fix it while he was gone for the holidays (my way of having a piece of him while he's away), but unfortunately the adapter to it is dead and so I need my universal model which Ciro currently has. So I ask Ciro if I can drop by and borrow it. Mind you I haven't talked to him in a while but even when I was, his text, albeit sarcastic, were cut dry straight forward. He tells me to swing by 7:30 AM next day and I listen. 7:30 AM swings by and I'm at his front door, calling him to pick up the plug. He answers and is like "huh? I was just joking! I didn't mean literally, give me time to dress up and shower and shit and I'll bring it to you." Ok, so I use this time to go to the bank, purchase Stamina pills ('cause I was on the notion we would be hooking up later tonight and I had the intent of staying hard and fucking him 'till he cums with my hard cock up his ass) and I head back home to finish some Britney Spears Circus CD track downloading (I had all her tracks plus bonus ones except for one months in advance and I just needed to pop 'em on my iPod). He calls me and is heading my way, gonna take the M train today since he's leaving a little earlier than usual and wants to waste time (M train is perfect for that).
I catch him walking up by my way and I tag along. I sense I look disheveled and in no mood, he compliments my new haircut, stating he likes it, I don't know if he's being sarcastic so I just respond, "ok." He wants to pick up a coffee first before hopping on the train, I wait with him to get his cup o joe, wondering why he isn't leaning in to kiss me as usual, despite him throwing his usual smile at me. His usual heart melting glances. Fuck that, I want a kiss and motion for it but it doesn't occur, he walks out of the deli past me towards the subway. Well then fuck it so I reach for the bag, tell him thanks and head on my way. I get home thinking to myself, "all I need for this to be is my universal plug when I asked him for his IBM plug (because I still have the different heads used on the universal plug for different laptops and noticed that the one for the IBM was an older, smaller standard and this laptop needs a newer size.) It's the universal adapter, FUCK. So I immediately text Ciro about giving me the wrong adapter and if I can get Shaun's cell so I can pick it up. He tells me he'll give it to me when he's at work, I ask for his aim s/n so I can monitor when he wakes up, shoot him a message that I want to drop by and pick up a plug, in which I do tell Shaun so via AIM. When Shaun logs onto aim, he gives me his cell and I ride over to Ciro's place to make the plug switch, bringing the laptop with me to see if it'll work because if not, then I'm not taking the plug as it's unnecessary and more for me to carry back on my bike.
It doesn't fit, so I live both plugs (no wanting to take Ciro's plug and not wanting him to be without a plug for the laptop I gave him).
Time passes and Ciro tells me of Shaun attacking him and having Shaun move out, that Shaun's ridiculous and poisonous and doesn't want him as a roommate. He tells me to no longer speak to him which I gladly comply, because, you know, I still have a thing for Ciro and I want us to get together. Mind you my world view is now blue and no longer Rosy Red, someone stole my fucking red-tinted Marc by Marc Jacobs shades right off my face.
Well Ciro later gets the idea that I've been talking to Shaun behind his back, hooking up with him even? And that he no longer wants to speak or deal with me. What? Where did this come from? Well, if that's the case, fuck it, I don't care for drama, so I drop by his place to pick up my universal adapter as I just lent that to him, not give it, and I need it for my freelance work fixin' PCs, I find out he's not home to I contact Shaun to let me in and let me pick up the plug, telling Ciro that I contacted him, but Shaun, since I believe he's normal and sane, tells me I can't waltz into the apartment without Ciro's approval, especially with the way things have been going. Huh? Is this coming from the same lunatic Ciro described earlier? Well shit goes around in a circle and I can't have it (mind you I lost patience behind my bed awhile ago) so I just say fuck it and leave, tell them to piss of with each other in the most polite way, and storm home. Shaun txts me back apologizing and wished this situation didn't occur. Again, lunatic? I highly doubt it.
Well Shaun messages me of his own freewill on AIM and to much my dismay, he tells me of Ciro's skepticism of me, the recent craziness that ensued over his way, and how life is moving for him. We hold a nice steady conversation all the while I'm communicating with Ciro via email (I refuse to have his fucking snarky comments sent to me in real time and emailing allows me to edit myself properly.) One of the emails, edited:
From: me
To: Ciro
Sent: Sat, 29 Nov 2008 8:50 am
Subject: chat logs with shaun.
I just realized I labeled myself a fuck buddy, that’s my fault, I was blinded by rage that day:
Tuesday, November 25, 2008 08:36:29
[08:36] mrtrblmkr1: Hey shaun, it's Fernando, Ciro's fuckbuddy, whenever you're up, give me a ring - XXXXX, i need to pig up a laptop plug from his room. If you need anything from me, give me a call anytime.
[08:36] shaun: (auto-response from shaun) Away
Tuesday, November 25, 2008 18:43:13
[18:43] mrtrblmkr1: sup, it's Fernando, mind if I bother you , drop by, and pick up a plug from Ciro's room?
[18:48] shaun: that's chill.
[18:48] mrtrblmkr1: cool, your bell works or should i txt you?
[18:49] shaun: just call me , XXXXXX
[19:07] mrtrblmkr1: thanks, you need anything, let me know
--------------Reply---------------
From: Ciro
Sent: Sunday, November 30, 2008 8:05 PM
To: me
Subject: Re: chat logs with shaun.
i see. and how do i know you didnt just type this out yourself? shaun said he didnt know you needed to get anything. why didnt you pick up the plug? i know theres more to this considering tuesday and wednesday morning the cord WASNT on my bed but wedneday night it was.
--------------Reply---------------
From: me
To: Ciro
Sent: Mon, 1 Dec 2008 12:21 am
Subject: RE: chat logs with shaun.
Cause I didn’t, it’s all saved on a server online that cannot be altered, I use Meebo (http://www.meebo.com) and I save ALL my chat logs, including those with you.
Shaun must have been high, I don’t know, he just simply opened the door, I let myself in, he went to his room, I went into yours and dropped it off, grabbed yours and tried it out, only to have it not fit into the laptop (your model is older than the one I’m trying to fix and subsequently needs a completely new plug) and so I left both plugs.
I remember placing the plug, in its bag, right by the laptop on top of the green/blue-top bin on the right side of your bed, to the right of the laptop which was open. If it’s position moved – either you, Shaun, or a ghost moved it, not me.
I really don’t want to speak to you any further, you’ve hurt me, hurt me deeply and I can’t bear to bother – you got a free fuck, cum dump out of me and a free laptop, what more do you want of me without reciprocating? I know I’m expecting a lot (possibly the inkling of liking me) but I’m not going to force it out of you. If you want to know any more, you know how to contact me – email, txt, AIM or call.
- Fernando
It's the truth, he fucked me raw, dumped his cum in me, and then got a free laptop out of the deal and now he's flipping out on me calling me a liar and shit?
I HAD A VIRTUAL STROKE, MY ASS IS NOT LYING, I DON'T PLAY GAMES, ESPECIALLY WHEN MY HEART'S INVOLVED. FUCK YOU.
Well Ciro turns around in full circle and now he's contacting me via cell albeit it's one-sided; he doesn't really hear me or respond to what I say, he's just giving me up-to-the-moment status updates.
I'm over this scenario, it's bullshit and I hate it so much. I want Ciro in my life, but now if he has issues as big as this.
Ciro, get of the meds and get with me, it might be something good and to your benefit, you never know. That and you don't live an hour away like EBG does, I fucking just walk down the block to you!
-----------------------
He works my cock over, does an amazing job, his barely thick lips encase the head of my cock, slowly - magically, encircling my phallus, encasing me in his throat, my summation, my summary, what I am is now banging into his tonsils - rhythmically, I'm throat fucking him.
My legs are tossed up at me, and now he's licking down my shaft to my asshole - imagine the pleasure I'm feeling to know he - a white, Tool-loving, ROCK-HARD italian body is going down to one of my most sensitive zon- FUCK, his tongue reached my asshole and now it's finding- nay, pushing its way into my hole, licking its way into me, into my orifice. My eyes go lazy, my legs fall limp, my cock stiffens, yet all I can think of is wild horses, ocean waves, cars honking, all I can think of to calm me otherwise I'm putting him into a leglock, a bearhug, anything to keep him mine without letting him go.
I feel exposed, slightly raw yet wet- moist, he looks up from time to time to check on me - He looks like the fucking Devil, Devil Incarnate, reborn to fuck me over - literally and figuratively, something out of a Tenacious D song sans the comedy.
He's done, he gets up and gazes at me - I swear with what could have been the longest 10 seconds of my life - at which point the candle lit to the left above me FLARES with dramatic intensity, everything is a scary pagan red; fierce, tormenting colors that shock me and remind me of my youth, of my stupidity.
However this is just 10 seconds, he leans down and shares with me my taste, what my asshole taste like - sweet, warm, silicone from my douching earlier, the candle doesn't quit with its blare, and I think to myself this candle is getting excited at the wrong moment, it's all too soon. Asshole of a candle.
He leans back up and gives me this curt grin, so fucking devilish, so wrong. Yet so right. His lip curls, his face is gaunt, his eyes are a deep blue, a pair you can easily get lost in and never come back - I waded into them and was pulled by the rift, only now recovering weeks later. He reaches over to his side of the bed to grab a condom, I reach for my lube - Eros Premium Silicone, once my enemy now my friend. Unfortunately, as little a time it took to grab the necessities, it took just as much time for him to become flaccid. He's hot, steaming, and ridiculously sweaty - something that drives me wild and makes me love him even further - as I lick the sweat off his face, his chest, his arms, his pits, his head, he's at first embarrassed, but eases up and smiles, jerking, trying to regain composure and not kill the mood. I love his slightly salty taste - if salty at all, he's perfect, he taste perfect, he's unbelievably clean, clean like me, my first days with EBG.
Fuck this, you're D/D free? I'm D/D free. I rip his condom off, and lord knows what I did, I did something that made him regain his force, he's now hard again, and I take this opportunity to soften my hole and jumps on his dick, his cock. YES, fuck is it ever so GLORIOUS! HE FEELS AMAZING - HE'S IN ME! HIS FUCKING DICK IS IN ME! AND WHAT IS THIS? HE'S FUCKING ME! Up. Down. Up. Down, he's fucking my hole and I don't know what to do - I'm in auto-pilot and he's co-piloting with the computer. We're working in unison and his dick stiffens so hard I feel it might rip me if he moves the wrong way, as if this is the only chance for us to insert this volatile rod of nitro into a pool of sulfuric acid without jutting into the walls, the only time we can violate all laws of nature and science, except this moment is on repeat and the walls of acid are the walls of my ass and this rod of doom is his 7 inches pounding me - no, he lied, it's 8, if not 9 - he's reached what I call the 3rd ring, the last muscular sphincter I control before you're reaching up into my intestine, into my colon and various other organ-ical shit. My pushing out and his pounding me are driving me wild, so much so I came on him, hot steamy cum flying from the tip of my cock without the need for me to touch it, the first of multiple orgasms in a fun evening/morning.
We shuffle and change position, I'm on my back, and he's hovering above me, plowing into my hole, raw, condom-free, filling me, the void that existed in my life up until this moment. I fill I never need to eat again as long as he's in me, he's the protein I need and the cover to my heart murmur.
Our fucking this way last about 10... 20... now 30 minutes as I keep looking at the time, I've cummed again and am re-hard, he's still hard, sweating on me, loving my hole - I sense something but disregard it. My hole's feeling raw, feeling good, clean, filled to capacity, hot, ready to rip open yet strong and durable.
We fuck in various positions for various lengths of time - off the edge of his bed, missionary, my ass raised for him to dip into me, on my stomach, and on all fours.
We back to missionary, my head propped up on his pillow, I'm working my cock over, my legs are spread wide, my hole's tense, I'm about to blow again, we're locked in a stare, his devilish grin reappears, I can barely keep composure but I keep my look on him, I feel I can't fail him this look, I feel his cock jutterly differently this time, like it's preparing - and like a good, hungry bottom, I whisper those sweet three words: cum. in. me. His grin broadens, he knows what to do, and with the next few thrusts, I feel his cum inside me. I feel the hotness of his fluids, almost a little too hot, it's an odd sting at first but I love it, it's new exciting, stupid and dangerous but It's what I wanted. He sighs and moans heavily, his lip curt, curled, and his face in a shift of pleasure pain, he's breathing heavily, his body is wet, soaked from sweat, he looses back strength and collapses on me, his body wetting mine, drenching me, I feel like I just stepped out into a summer shower, something I haven't done for years, it's reminiscent of my youth. Stupid years. I want to cry, I grab him and make him mine, I want to stay with him, I want to be him, I want to be a white italian with dark brown hair and a thick meaty cock, virtually smooth, clean skin, and scentless, saltless sweat. He's humor returns and he mock snores, I giggle. We stay in each others' embrace for what may well be forever.
Except it isn't. He rolls off of me and reaches over for a light. I'm infatuated but like a good bottom I clean up, lay on my stomach, and service him, lapping up his sweat, grabbing a towel and doing the necessities, then laying their looking good for him. He throws me a grin which warms my heart. Then goes back to smoking and checking his cell. I'm inebriated. This happen, this happened to me. Finally the world is handing me what I want and deserve.
Time passes by, days and this continues. Unfortunately his has to battle this bacterial infection in his stomach so he's on azithromycin and percocet. Both which cause the next few sessions to become a bit laborious yet equally satisfy and gratifying. My spidey senses are still tingling each time but I ignore them.
Why the fuck did I ignore them?
He wants me to top him. This news comes up days after a rift silently and quickly comes into existence between us. Why the fuck wasn't I born with a bigger dick?! Fucking huge nose, feet and hands, and with all the black in my puerto rican ass, I wasn't handed down the fucking dick that matches? This is my curse? Fuck you God.
The rift was created by tension with his roommate Shaun and my talking to him. Apparently his roommate's a nobody scum from Ciro's POV, but from talking with him recently, he's the most sane normal dude you can expect from the alternative scene, folks who are usually more calm and respectable than mainstream fuck up society.
This revelation has opened the murmur, if not forced a blunt 13" radius pole into my hole and tore it the fuck open. The virgo in me dies, the calm in me dies. I drop patience behind the bed. My good luck is gone and shit is slowly going wrong. This happens before Nichelle while I'm working on her laptop in the 24 hr Starbucks at Union. She doesn't notice because I'm an actor, yet I'm ready to get up and bash someone's skull in right this minute. FUCK YOU. WHO ARE YOU LOOKING AT FAGGOT? TALK A HIKE NIGGER. What the hell is wrong with me? Who pressed the suicide button? Wasn't that shit ripped off the panel? Where did the unicorns and rainbows go? Who am I? I wake up the next morning to shave off the sides of my head, I didn't like my hair and I want a mohawk- DON'T FUCK WITH ME. I extreme douche. My asshole bleeds, fuck it, who cares? I'm raw clean and need to moisturize, cracked skin's a good sign, I've begun biting my nails again.
I haven't spoken to Ciro in a while. I thought it would be good if he came to me, seeing as he had a life before me, I'm just a hookup, the holidays are coming up and he has family and friends to attend to before me. I'm not his boyfriend and I don't need to push myself into his life.
I've been seeing other guys in the meantime and this new guy I've been seeing is Ciro's hispanic replica. Except slimmer, with a HOT southern accent, not on fucking whack medication (though he also smokes weed and cigs, no biggie) and has a luscious cock as well. I care for him so his identity will not be revealed, just know I'm happy with him and will not fuck up this one.
Well I took Ciro's hispanic replica's laptop to fix it while he was gone for the holidays (my way of having a piece of him while he's away), but unfortunately the adapter to it is dead and so I need my universal model which Ciro currently has. So I ask Ciro if I can drop by and borrow it. Mind you I haven't talked to him in a while but even when I was, his text, albeit sarcastic, were cut dry straight forward. He tells me to swing by 7:30 AM next day and I listen. 7:30 AM swings by and I'm at his front door, calling him to pick up the plug. He answers and is like "huh? I was just joking! I didn't mean literally, give me time to dress up and shower and shit and I'll bring it to you." Ok, so I use this time to go to the bank, purchase Stamina pills ('cause I was on the notion we would be hooking up later tonight and I had the intent of staying hard and fucking him 'till he cums with my hard cock up his ass) and I head back home to finish some Britney Spears Circus CD track downloading (I had all her tracks plus bonus ones except for one months in advance and I just needed to pop 'em on my iPod). He calls me and is heading my way, gonna take the M train today since he's leaving a little earlier than usual and wants to waste time (M train is perfect for that).
I catch him walking up by my way and I tag along. I sense I look disheveled and in no mood, he compliments my new haircut, stating he likes it, I don't know if he's being sarcastic so I just respond, "ok." He wants to pick up a coffee first before hopping on the train, I wait with him to get his cup o joe, wondering why he isn't leaning in to kiss me as usual, despite him throwing his usual smile at me. His usual heart melting glances. Fuck that, I want a kiss and motion for it but it doesn't occur, he walks out of the deli past me towards the subway. Well then fuck it so I reach for the bag, tell him thanks and head on my way. I get home thinking to myself, "all I need for this to be is my universal plug when I asked him for his IBM plug (because I still have the different heads used on the universal plug for different laptops and noticed that the one for the IBM was an older, smaller standard and this laptop needs a newer size.) It's the universal adapter, FUCK. So I immediately text Ciro about giving me the wrong adapter and if I can get Shaun's cell so I can pick it up. He tells me he'll give it to me when he's at work, I ask for his aim s/n so I can monitor when he wakes up, shoot him a message that I want to drop by and pick up a plug, in which I do tell Shaun so via AIM. When Shaun logs onto aim, he gives me his cell and I ride over to Ciro's place to make the plug switch, bringing the laptop with me to see if it'll work because if not, then I'm not taking the plug as it's unnecessary and more for me to carry back on my bike.
It doesn't fit, so I live both plugs (no wanting to take Ciro's plug and not wanting him to be without a plug for the laptop I gave him).
Time passes and Ciro tells me of Shaun attacking him and having Shaun move out, that Shaun's ridiculous and poisonous and doesn't want him as a roommate. He tells me to no longer speak to him which I gladly comply, because, you know, I still have a thing for Ciro and I want us to get together. Mind you my world view is now blue and no longer Rosy Red, someone stole my fucking red-tinted Marc by Marc Jacobs shades right off my face.
Well Ciro later gets the idea that I've been talking to Shaun behind his back, hooking up with him even? And that he no longer wants to speak or deal with me. What? Where did this come from? Well, if that's the case, fuck it, I don't care for drama, so I drop by his place to pick up my universal adapter as I just lent that to him, not give it, and I need it for my freelance work fixin' PCs, I find out he's not home to I contact Shaun to let me in and let me pick up the plug, telling Ciro that I contacted him, but Shaun, since I believe he's normal and sane, tells me I can't waltz into the apartment without Ciro's approval, especially with the way things have been going. Huh? Is this coming from the same lunatic Ciro described earlier? Well shit goes around in a circle and I can't have it (mind you I lost patience behind my bed awhile ago) so I just say fuck it and leave, tell them to piss of with each other in the most polite way, and storm home. Shaun txts me back apologizing and wished this situation didn't occur. Again, lunatic? I highly doubt it.
Well Shaun messages me of his own freewill on AIM and to much my dismay, he tells me of Ciro's skepticism of me, the recent craziness that ensued over his way, and how life is moving for him. We hold a nice steady conversation all the while I'm communicating with Ciro via email (I refuse to have his fucking snarky comments sent to me in real time and emailing allows me to edit myself properly.) One of the emails, edited:
From: me
To: Ciro
Sent: Sat, 29 Nov 2008 8:50 am
Subject: chat logs with shaun.
I just realized I labeled myself a fuck buddy, that’s my fault, I was blinded by rage that day:
Tuesday, November 25, 2008 08:36:29
[08:36] mrtrblmkr1: Hey shaun, it's Fernando, Ciro's fuckbuddy, whenever you're up, give me a ring - XXXXX, i need to pig up a laptop plug from his room. If you need anything from me, give me a call anytime.
[08:36] shaun: (auto-response from shaun) Away
Tuesday, November 25, 2008 18:43:13
[18:43] mrtrblmkr1: sup, it's Fernando, mind if I bother you , drop by, and pick up a plug from Ciro's room?
[18:48] shaun: that's chill.
[18:48] mrtrblmkr1: cool, your bell works or should i txt you?
[18:49] shaun: just call me , XXXXXX
[19:07] mrtrblmkr1: thanks, you need anything, let me know
--------------Reply---------------
From: Ciro
Sent: Sunday, November 30, 2008 8:05 PM
To: me
Subject: Re: chat logs with shaun.
i see. and how do i know you didnt just type this out yourself? shaun said he didnt know you needed to get anything. why didnt you pick up the plug? i know theres more to this considering tuesday and wednesday morning the cord WASNT on my bed but wedneday night it was.
--------------Reply---------------
From: me
To: Ciro
Sent: Mon, 1 Dec 2008 12:21 am
Subject: RE: chat logs with shaun.
Cause I didn’t, it’s all saved on a server online that cannot be altered, I use Meebo (http://www.meebo.com) and I save ALL my chat logs, including those with you.
Shaun must have been high, I don’t know, he just simply opened the door, I let myself in, he went to his room, I went into yours and dropped it off, grabbed yours and tried it out, only to have it not fit into the laptop (your model is older than the one I’m trying to fix and subsequently needs a completely new plug) and so I left both plugs.
I remember placing the plug, in its bag, right by the laptop on top of the green/blue-top bin on the right side of your bed, to the right of the laptop which was open. If it’s position moved – either you, Shaun, or a ghost moved it, not me.
I really don’t want to speak to you any further, you’ve hurt me, hurt me deeply and I can’t bear to bother – you got a free fuck, cum dump out of me and a free laptop, what more do you want of me without reciprocating? I know I’m expecting a lot (possibly the inkling of liking me) but I’m not going to force it out of you. If you want to know any more, you know how to contact me – email, txt, AIM or call.
- Fernando
It's the truth, he fucked me raw, dumped his cum in me, and then got a free laptop out of the deal and now he's flipping out on me calling me a liar and shit?
I HAD A VIRTUAL STROKE, MY ASS IS NOT LYING, I DON'T PLAY GAMES, ESPECIALLY WHEN MY HEART'S INVOLVED. FUCK YOU.
Well Ciro turns around in full circle and now he's contacting me via cell albeit it's one-sided; he doesn't really hear me or respond to what I say, he's just giving me up-to-the-moment status updates.
I'm over this scenario, it's bullshit and I hate it so much. I want Ciro in my life, but now if he has issues as big as this.
Ciro, get of the meds and get with me, it might be something good and to your benefit, you never know. That and you don't live an hour away like EBG does, I fucking just walk down the block to you!
Sunday, November 30, 2008
fuck medicine...
ugh, my ass has been on this emotional bender for the greatest amount of time thus far, stemming from monday last week til today and still ongoing.
At first I thought it might have been a reaction to me suddenly stopping the herbal supplements I had been taking, that this aggressive emotional imbalance might be a side-effect of suddenly dropping a new medication routine, only to realize that such a shit wouldn't last more than a few days, and shouldn't occur days after ending a med routine.
I am grateful, VERY GRATEFUL, as horrible as I may show it, if ever. EBG, know that I love what you do for me, and like you way too much for you to leave me anytime soon. Sappy as it is, but you've been one of the few pillars of support that have kept me stable.
So once again I go on the pursuit of love. on Adam4Adam. Ugh. Well in my pursuit I find a guy my heart automatically flutters for. Mind you, throughout my time in the world of sex, I have learned to differentiate between lust and love, want and need. This guy seemed like a want at first, my latest catch - but it became more than that immediately, I have yet to meet him and I sense something more. I sense this desire to more than be with him, to more than fuck him/be fucked. I sense I need to grow with him, get old, raise children, the dogs, the horses and cattle on our farm in Wisconsin- the hell? Where are all these strange ass thoughts coming from?
I message him, and because I'm a bitch and need to remember everything, his name is Ciro aka yardley. Well, some days go by before I actually get a response - wha? At first he's all 'hey, hi, how are ya', I'm all, 'you list as working in IT? you trying to hone in on my PC game here at home?' and he's all 'naw, my ex used to do that, i don't know any of it' etc, etc. Well some more txts fly by when finally we decided to meet - well fuck do I get happy, I'm fucking inebriated on the fact that we get to meet! WOOT! Well, we do meet at his place, which is about a 5 minute walk from me - HOW GREAT?! FINALLY I CAN HAVE MYSELF A BOYFRIEND WITHIN MINUTES OF ME!
Get to his place, he had been complaining earlier of his back and I told him I'd give him a massage. Usually I'm really good but I'm nervous about pulling off his shirt so I do it with his shirt on which is just bad and not up to the standards I strive for - he pulls it off and instantly I burn up at the site of his flesh, his body is AMAZING, he's toned yet fleshy, this great suppleness to his body. I begin working up my masseur skills and this time I finally get to a level I feel confident in, working his lower back and his shoulders, aiming for stress points and focusing on dispelling the tension in his back. This gets him going to the point of light moaning and shifting, he flips around and begins reciprocating my sexual tension, kissing me, grabbing my face down towards his, leaning me in to him, his lips so fucking soft, the feel of them, glorious against mine. Hastily we tear each other's clothes off, nearly ripping mine off as his undoes his pants. I'm there on his bed in my underwear, he's hovering above me in his, cocks hard, we begin to grind.
Ciro has a massive member, a really thick fucking dick and I can sense the thickness of his cock against me and easily make out he's around 3" at the base of his cock, not measuring under his sack but solely his cock alone, rivaling the size of EBG's cock, if not besting it in girth but not length. The heat of out makeout session grows intensely, and candles he has lit earlier begin to flicker wildly and grow slightly, pouring more light into the room. I can make out his features even further as his gets up to take a breathe and check me out, he's fucking GLORIOUS, his body is amazing and I'm absolutely INFATUATED - is that it? Is this not love but infatuation? Fuck.
We resume our passion, underwear flies across the room, he begins working on me; the nape of my neck, my chest, my belly - to which he jokingly blows into my belly button, face fully in my stomach, making a farting noise as you would your child - a giggle from both of us and he continues downward, I'm loving EVERY FUCKING BIT, this is new, this is exciting, and this is what I anticipated and more. He senses what I want and I'm not nervous or tense any more, I'm willing and ready. He sniffs my crotch, sniffs my freshly washed skin and begins to lick my throbbing cock - FUCK does his tongue feel amazing, I'm already pre-cumming as I always do but this- this is insane, it's wild.
He works my cock over, works it thoroughly without leaving me slobbering wet, and then comes up and begins to kiss me. Whoa, his lips are amazing; soft, full and so fucking kissable, suckable, moist.
At first I thought it might have been a reaction to me suddenly stopping the herbal supplements I had been taking, that this aggressive emotional imbalance might be a side-effect of suddenly dropping a new medication routine, only to realize that such a shit wouldn't last more than a few days, and shouldn't occur days after ending a med routine.
I am grateful, VERY GRATEFUL, as horrible as I may show it, if ever. EBG, know that I love what you do for me, and like you way too much for you to leave me anytime soon. Sappy as it is, but you've been one of the few pillars of support that have kept me stable.
So once again I go on the pursuit of love. on Adam4Adam. Ugh. Well in my pursuit I find a guy my heart automatically flutters for. Mind you, throughout my time in the world of sex, I have learned to differentiate between lust and love, want and need. This guy seemed like a want at first, my latest catch - but it became more than that immediately, I have yet to meet him and I sense something more. I sense this desire to more than be with him, to more than fuck him/be fucked. I sense I need to grow with him, get old, raise children, the dogs, the horses and cattle on our farm in Wisconsin- the hell? Where are all these strange ass thoughts coming from?
I message him, and because I'm a bitch and need to remember everything, his name is Ciro aka yardley. Well, some days go by before I actually get a response - wha? At first he's all 'hey, hi, how are ya', I'm all, 'you list as working in IT? you trying to hone in on my PC game here at home?' and he's all 'naw, my ex used to do that, i don't know any of it' etc, etc. Well some more txts fly by when finally we decided to meet - well fuck do I get happy, I'm fucking inebriated on the fact that we get to meet! WOOT! Well, we do meet at his place, which is about a 5 minute walk from me - HOW GREAT?! FINALLY I CAN HAVE MYSELF A BOYFRIEND WITHIN MINUTES OF ME!
Get to his place, he had been complaining earlier of his back and I told him I'd give him a massage. Usually I'm really good but I'm nervous about pulling off his shirt so I do it with his shirt on which is just bad and not up to the standards I strive for - he pulls it off and instantly I burn up at the site of his flesh, his body is AMAZING, he's toned yet fleshy, this great suppleness to his body. I begin working up my masseur skills and this time I finally get to a level I feel confident in, working his lower back and his shoulders, aiming for stress points and focusing on dispelling the tension in his back. This gets him going to the point of light moaning and shifting, he flips around and begins reciprocating my sexual tension, kissing me, grabbing my face down towards his, leaning me in to him, his lips so fucking soft, the feel of them, glorious against mine. Hastily we tear each other's clothes off, nearly ripping mine off as his undoes his pants. I'm there on his bed in my underwear, he's hovering above me in his, cocks hard, we begin to grind.
Ciro has a massive member, a really thick fucking dick and I can sense the thickness of his cock against me and easily make out he's around 3" at the base of his cock, not measuring under his sack but solely his cock alone, rivaling the size of EBG's cock, if not besting it in girth but not length. The heat of out makeout session grows intensely, and candles he has lit earlier begin to flicker wildly and grow slightly, pouring more light into the room. I can make out his features even further as his gets up to take a breathe and check me out, he's fucking GLORIOUS, his body is amazing and I'm absolutely INFATUATED - is that it? Is this not love but infatuation? Fuck.
We resume our passion, underwear flies across the room, he begins working on me; the nape of my neck, my chest, my belly - to which he jokingly blows into my belly button, face fully in my stomach, making a farting noise as you would your child - a giggle from both of us and he continues downward, I'm loving EVERY FUCKING BIT, this is new, this is exciting, and this is what I anticipated and more. He senses what I want and I'm not nervous or tense any more, I'm willing and ready. He sniffs my crotch, sniffs my freshly washed skin and begins to lick my throbbing cock - FUCK does his tongue feel amazing, I'm already pre-cumming as I always do but this- this is insane, it's wild.
He works my cock over, works it thoroughly without leaving me slobbering wet, and then comes up and begins to kiss me. Whoa, his lips are amazing; soft, full and so fucking kissable, suckable, moist.
Monday, November 03, 2008
one month went by...
One fucking month. All spent on wasting valuable time @ American Apparel.
I was their in-house Computer Tech for 1 month to only be unceremoniously fired today.
mofo's. But yea, the company internally is in shambles and not many people believe or understand me. How has it been so profitable, especially during this rough time? Because they just chew and spit, and apparently that's cheaper for them then to Taste and Swallow. Spent a glorious amount of money on me as a new hire, only to expend me once they saw fit. Bleh, I have a dirty taste in my mouth now. Or maybe that's the onions...
So I've now stabilized at 165, however I'm hoping those recent 5 lbs weren't muscle and were fat, or that my improper eating this past few days has gotten to me and I can't do a proper chin-up at the moment. Either way, I need to start on my upper body pronto, I really want to surprise the family before Thanksgiving, get them to realize how fucking FAT they are (at least 1 aunt and 1 mother in particular). Unfortunately, I'm becoming very Marc Jacobs-ish; small, slender, female legs, and buff, defined upper body. My mother said how I'm developing a woman's body and that just crushed my recent happy high.
So now I drop by the AA offices tomorrow to pick up my final check, ew. The doorbell just rang, brb.
.... Ugh, neighbor upstairs locked herself out.
I registered to vote, Republican of course. Obama/Palin '08! woooo!!!
Wait 'til 2012 rolls around, Palin/Navarette! hehe.
Hrm... what else...
I made two young men happy, VERY happy. Got my little bro Fable II spechul edition, he DIEEEDD, like "NIN-TEN-DO!" died. and got a fully paid reserve of Empire: Total War, out Feb 9, he DIIIIEDD, and like "My aunt got my Disney Stocks, what do I do with that?! This is way better!" sorta way, glorious.
Ran into Max at the pivotal, climaxal point of my AA career, lookin' swanky and all, all Hilary Swank and shit, and got him oozing over moi, he haw.
Wait 'til he hears I was fired...
EBG has been pounding my hole recently. and like, REALLY pounding. He suddenly got to witness how a REAL Leo plays in bed, and he's been loving it. I've been loving it too, feeling him thrust his cock inside me, feeling the tense stiffness as it makes every thrust, every insertion into my silo- a rocket coming home, something so inconceivable. I told him earlier a little booze and my pain threshold lowers, but at the same time I'm still coherent and feel everything- my ass is tingling at the thought, hehe. But yessum, he got to feel good ol' me and I sorta replicated it again after dinner at Cafeteria, though not as great as that night. I guess knowing I was going to be removed from office got me searching for my ol' high, sex.
It also helped tremendously knowing EBG likes me, really likes me. I really really like him to and hope he gets that, even if I suck at showing it.
Cankre sores suck bad female scat ass. I still have had this sore on the inner part of my lip for the past two weeks, why? fucking drinking 'non-dairy' DAIRY creamer in my coffee, that and massive amounts of sodium intake. Those two fuckers fuck my system up and now I have a constant reminder until I normalize my diet and cleanse my body. Having EBG suck my face though helped, and creates a wild though painful experience. I'm enjoying it and want him to continue.
I also want to buff up yet stay small so he can have me as his fuck toy. Blow up dolls are passe.
Court judgment? 240.20 Disorderly Conduct. The equivalent to me trespassing. HAW! Fuck you Staples! That chapter of my life will soon be closed as I finish paying off the laptop that is now mein, MAHNER-DAMF-HEMPNITCHSE LON-DON!!!! lol, I love that german dude Patrick from Pam Ann's DVD.
My thighs are thick again, ugh, they're starting to rub and now I gots a biker's bump, eww.
Which, btw, the glorious Pacific I was riding around with the new fan-tab $90 brakes I bought? That got trashed and now I only own its brakes. Motherfuck, I'm bike shiva. and That's currently what's happening with my replacement bike, a huge ass trail bike, fucking, made my ass grow and inch taller just so I can pedal properly, legit, you gotta see this thing! It's a Raleigh (RAL-LEE), lemme pull up an image:
http://i402.photobucket.com/albums/pp105/Black-Francis/PA310001.jpg
And the Pilly craigslist post to match:
http://philadelphia.craigslist.org/bik/904120070.html
Uh... 35" standover? good for 6'1" AND ABOVE?!?! Thuh fuck, my small 5'10" frame cannot handle, I'm buying myself a new bike, and I think I found it, for $400 :D
so yea... i got the heater just blasting my back, 'bout to go to sleep.
I was their in-house Computer Tech for 1 month to only be unceremoniously fired today.
mofo's. But yea, the company internally is in shambles and not many people believe or understand me. How has it been so profitable, especially during this rough time? Because they just chew and spit, and apparently that's cheaper for them then to Taste and Swallow. Spent a glorious amount of money on me as a new hire, only to expend me once they saw fit. Bleh, I have a dirty taste in my mouth now. Or maybe that's the onions...
So I've now stabilized at 165, however I'm hoping those recent 5 lbs weren't muscle and were fat, or that my improper eating this past few days has gotten to me and I can't do a proper chin-up at the moment. Either way, I need to start on my upper body pronto, I really want to surprise the family before Thanksgiving, get them to realize how fucking FAT they are (at least 1 aunt and 1 mother in particular). Unfortunately, I'm becoming very Marc Jacobs-ish; small, slender, female legs, and buff, defined upper body. My mother said how I'm developing a woman's body and that just crushed my recent happy high.
So now I drop by the AA offices tomorrow to pick up my final check, ew. The doorbell just rang, brb.
.... Ugh, neighbor upstairs locked herself out.
I registered to vote, Republican of course. Obama/Palin '08! woooo!!!
Wait 'til 2012 rolls around, Palin/Navarette! hehe.
Hrm... what else...
I made two young men happy, VERY happy. Got my little bro Fable II spechul edition, he DIEEEDD, like "NIN-TEN-DO!" died. and got a fully paid reserve of Empire: Total War, out Feb 9, he DIIIIEDD, and like "My aunt got my Disney Stocks, what do I do with that?! This is way better!" sorta way, glorious.
Ran into Max at the pivotal, climaxal point of my AA career, lookin' swanky and all, all Hilary Swank and shit, and got him oozing over moi, he haw.
Wait 'til he hears I was fired...
EBG has been pounding my hole recently. and like, REALLY pounding. He suddenly got to witness how a REAL Leo plays in bed, and he's been loving it. I've been loving it too, feeling him thrust his cock inside me, feeling the tense stiffness as it makes every thrust, every insertion into my silo- a rocket coming home, something so inconceivable. I told him earlier a little booze and my pain threshold lowers, but at the same time I'm still coherent and feel everything- my ass is tingling at the thought, hehe. But yessum, he got to feel good ol' me and I sorta replicated it again after dinner at Cafeteria, though not as great as that night. I guess knowing I was going to be removed from office got me searching for my ol' high, sex.
It also helped tremendously knowing EBG likes me, really likes me. I really really like him to and hope he gets that, even if I suck at showing it.
Cankre sores suck bad female scat ass. I still have had this sore on the inner part of my lip for the past two weeks, why? fucking drinking 'non-dairy' DAIRY creamer in my coffee, that and massive amounts of sodium intake. Those two fuckers fuck my system up and now I have a constant reminder until I normalize my diet and cleanse my body. Having EBG suck my face though helped, and creates a wild though painful experience. I'm enjoying it and want him to continue.
I also want to buff up yet stay small so he can have me as his fuck toy. Blow up dolls are passe.
Court judgment? 240.20 Disorderly Conduct. The equivalent to me trespassing. HAW! Fuck you Staples! That chapter of my life will soon be closed as I finish paying off the laptop that is now mein, MAHNER-DAMF-HEMPNITCHSE LON-DON!!!! lol, I love that german dude Patrick from Pam Ann's DVD.
My thighs are thick again, ugh, they're starting to rub and now I gots a biker's bump, eww.
Which, btw, the glorious Pacific I was riding around with the new fan-tab $90 brakes I bought? That got trashed and now I only own its brakes. Motherfuck, I'm bike shiva. and That's currently what's happening with my replacement bike, a huge ass trail bike, fucking, made my ass grow and inch taller just so I can pedal properly, legit, you gotta see this thing! It's a Raleigh (RAL-LEE), lemme pull up an image:
http://i402.photobucket.com/albums/pp105/Black-Francis/PA310001.jpg
And the Pilly craigslist post to match:
http://philadelphia.craigslist.org/bik/904120070.html
Uh... 35" standover? good for 6'1" AND ABOVE?!?! Thuh fuck, my small 5'10" frame cannot handle, I'm buying myself a new bike, and I think I found it, for $400 :D
so yea... i got the heater just blasting my back, 'bout to go to sleep.
Thursday, October 02, 2008
Frozen Showers
Frozen showers...
So cold as I lose my breath
laying alone cold on a nylon slip-covered mattress
freezing as I exhale
cold, freezing water
cancerous white suds, shampoo, rinse, repeat
frozen water running on nerve-dead shins
the goosebumps that form as the water hits me bare
raw, naked, and fucking cold.
When I lay awake at night, blanketless
I grab the only thing to keep me sane
a full body pillow
suds on my rear
did I wash behind my ears?
the boiler's broken.
I took a frozen shower.
- Fernando N, 10/2/08
So cold as I lose my breath
laying alone cold on a nylon slip-covered mattress
freezing as I exhale
cold, freezing water
cancerous white suds, shampoo, rinse, repeat
frozen water running on nerve-dead shins
the goosebumps that form as the water hits me bare
raw, naked, and fucking cold.
When I lay awake at night, blanketless
I grab the only thing to keep me sane
a full body pillow
suds on my rear
did I wash behind my ears?
the boiler's broken.
I took a frozen shower.
- Fernando N, 10/2/08
Monday, September 15, 2008
FUCK
my ass is still awake, all thanks to EBG's fuckability-ing.
After a hawt buttfuck, I rode around Chelsea on my bike a bit to see if I could find a food joint open to feed my sudden gripping hunger, evident by the noises arises through my esophagus into my head; some really deep, thunderous tones- really freaky shit.
Well didn't find crap so I thought I'd head to Union Sq. to either relax a bit or enter the subway at that station rather than the 8th Ave, when heading towards 6th Ave I noticed the new Diner (that's been there close to a year now) and decided to stop in. Fuckers, nothing's vegan, 'cept the Linguine Primavera which I didn't want but fuck, anything at this point, and a Berry Energizer, a shake sans any fucking cow by-product. -$23 dollars later (never fucking going there again) I had to handle a hot ass box of food and my steel-frame heavy ass bike (WITH NEW ASID PERFORMANCE BRAKES!!! And calibrated shifting, so it's like-new, aptly named 'Bikey') down into Union Sq.'s subway entrance and onto the platform, into the train, ride the fucking ever-slow-as-fuck L train into Brooklyn, maneuver the bike out the fucking car ('cause fucking idiots couldn't give me the right of way DESPITE MY BIG ASS AND MY BIG MOUNTAIN BIKE BLOCKING THE EXIT) with one hand while juggling the food box, head up a flight of steps (took the elevator for the second, fuck another set of steps) and ride a somewhat-smooth ride home. Ugh, my ass did it ghetto-style and settled on the front steps to bite into my food before hell froze over, my food with it.
Food was good, reminding me why I don't like italians, bread had butter on it so I have to scrap half of it, ugh, and the salad was a no-no so I packaged that for my momma tomorrow (or today) mornin'. Shake was fucking freaky; uber foamy with this weird spicy kick, hope the fucking mexicans working at the diner didn't spit in it. Privileged fucks.
Anywhew, Brandy's coming back out?! *GLEE* Onliest black bitch to run in 5" HEELED BOOTS- FIVE. INCH. HEELED. BOOTS. WTF. So ghetto supreme, very ferosh. Well she's dropping a new album called Human this November 11th, and the first single's called "Right Here (Departed)". Sounds tight, just ready for a winter-y season, despite warm winds here in NY on a monday, but yea, just right, vid's a bit meh though, girl be tripping juxtaposing herself in all freaky types of ways...
link: http://vids.myspace.com/index.cfm?fuseaction=vids.individual&VideoID=42186203
After a hawt buttfuck, I rode around Chelsea on my bike a bit to see if I could find a food joint open to feed my sudden gripping hunger, evident by the noises arises through my esophagus into my head; some really deep, thunderous tones- really freaky shit.
Well didn't find crap so I thought I'd head to Union Sq. to either relax a bit or enter the subway at that station rather than the 8th Ave, when heading towards 6th Ave I noticed the new Diner (that's been there close to a year now) and decided to stop in. Fuckers, nothing's vegan, 'cept the Linguine Primavera which I didn't want but fuck, anything at this point, and a Berry Energizer, a shake sans any fucking cow by-product. -$23 dollars later (never fucking going there again) I had to handle a hot ass box of food and my steel-frame heavy ass bike (WITH NEW ASID PERFORMANCE BRAKES!!! And calibrated shifting, so it's like-new, aptly named 'Bikey') down into Union Sq.'s subway entrance and onto the platform, into the train, ride the fucking ever-slow-as-fuck L train into Brooklyn, maneuver the bike out the fucking car ('cause fucking idiots couldn't give me the right of way DESPITE MY BIG ASS AND MY BIG MOUNTAIN BIKE BLOCKING THE EXIT) with one hand while juggling the food box, head up a flight of steps (took the elevator for the second, fuck another set of steps) and ride a somewhat-smooth ride home. Ugh, my ass did it ghetto-style and settled on the front steps to bite into my food before hell froze over, my food with it.
Food was good, reminding me why I don't like italians, bread had butter on it so I have to scrap half of it, ugh, and the salad was a no-no so I packaged that for my momma tomorrow (or today) mornin'. Shake was fucking freaky; uber foamy with this weird spicy kick, hope the fucking mexicans working at the diner didn't spit in it. Privileged fucks.
Anywhew, Brandy's coming back out?! *GLEE* Onliest black bitch to run in 5" HEELED BOOTS- FIVE. INCH. HEELED. BOOTS. WTF. So ghetto supreme, very ferosh. Well she's dropping a new album called Human this November 11th, and the first single's called "Right Here (Departed)". Sounds tight, just ready for a winter-y season, despite warm winds here in NY on a monday, but yea, just right, vid's a bit meh though, girl be tripping juxtaposing herself in all freaky types of ways...
link: http://vids.myspace.com/index.cfm?fuseaction=vids.individual&VideoID=42186203
Friday, September 05, 2008
stomach aches, thinner thighs, and 6-cells...
UPDATE: this is for EBG! the shit I was telling him about ages ago;
Click here for foonay
Opening today's blog with a surprising! (and very NOT surprising) note:
My Hispanic-ass has been arrested. Not the entirety of me, no, 'cause Fernando don't play that, but the majority of my ass-region and parts of moi where my skin is tanned past khaki. Meh. So very stupid of me (WHY FERNANDO!?)
'Tis/'Twas a minor offense and should/shall/was removed from my record.
But yes, currently eating almonds and drinking Tymbark (a polish brand of super-natural fruit juice blends) and fer some reason, either this juice mixture in particular or these damn almonds are making me get up and go to the bathroom ev'ry 4 secs, but that's no so bad, as long as my thighs are thinning out, losing a cm of fat or more every so often.
Which, by the way, being held in booking TOOK FOREVER. Being arrested is overrated here in the States (France was mucho worse) but the annoying part is you're moved from cell to cell depending how far along the paper process you are- which is literally fucking easy to document. After 6 cells (the 3rd being the fucking LONGEST), you see a judge, they order you to come back at a later date for a real hearing, and you're out. 16 hours, but meh, 'twas worth seeing me lose an inch of my thighs, they're firmer and more booty-ful (versus the bootylicious they were before).
Aside from that, life has been a plesant hell-hole. Temporarily re-awoken thoughts of suicide and frustration, some more arguments between me and the parentals, and the realization that Staples is a toxic fucking nightmare with the wrong manager at the pedal. No longer working at Staples, I'm now looking at the hopes that my resume is approved by *gasp* American Apparel! Hopefully they say yes (WISH ME LUCK!) and I'm one of there new IT guys, in a REAL IT environment, not the phony shit Staples claimed to be giving me.
More awesome sex with the Easy Button Guy, and hearing now and then from Fire Island Will, turned 20! *GASP* I'm fucking old! But meh, feeling no different except arrestable (vs the arresting-ing? I was the jailbait? yea, i miss that.)
Slowly going through my harddrive and deleting shit, trying to reorganize my digital life. my H.U.D. (or heads up display) is chunky, but organized, gonna have that cleaned out further soon.
My Easy Button has been super-sensitive as of recently, but still ever so pleasurizing (since it doesn't feel the pleasure, but I, nee Fernando does). Stopped using this de-sensitizing shit I used to use, and have been juggling around lubes (KY finishes so fucking fast), hopefully though, I'll get EBG to put on some Magnum Thins and really pound me out- no need for lubes though, 'cause KY's super long lasting (he thought I just wanted to rough fuck sans lube- No silly! KY was still fresh... as gross as that now sounds, ew). But yessir, gonna have my assizzle pounded *crosses fingers*
Been saving up now! Woot, I've reversed the money bandwagon and have been holding off on spending on ANYTHING, even food, I've been stinggy (stin-gee, as in astringent, or to be restrictive on what's to be done, ie. not paying for shit) all the way like the jew I-is-not.
Got EBG to sit down with me and watch Pam Ann's Come Fly With Me, (I think) He loved it (But I'm not sure, "the stairCAA-aaassse"), hopefully I can get him to watch the Blair Witch Project with me; don't like Horror flicks, bleh, GROW A PAIR! I was tormented for a week after the Blair, you can definitely handle it.
GOT MY BIKEY FIXED UP! OMFG! Front Brake works! Gear Shifts (sorta) work! (the larger, 3rd crank is shot, needa new set), just gotta get my Back Brakes up to speed.
hrm... trying to remember what else. My cock appears longer? I've been able to stroke it vs the fucking semi-card shuffle i _thought_ was "stroking".
That and I invented (in my head) a new coffee blend, called 'the Fernando Express',
recipe:
1 large (preferably) plastic cup
filled with ice
three/four shots of expresso
1 shot of [your choice of flavor, usually vanilla] syrup
add soy to fill it near-brim and sugar water until desired sweetness is met. Mix it like bitch shaking a polaroid, and you're good to go!
More than 4 of these and your vision will fade out, as mine had when I first had these.
Ps. It's basically a latte sans milk, with flavored syrup.
Click here for foonay
Opening today's blog with a surprising! (and very NOT surprising) note:
My Hispanic-ass has been arrested. Not the entirety of me, no, 'cause Fernando don't play that, but the majority of my ass-region and parts of moi where my skin is tanned past khaki. Meh. So very stupid of me (WHY FERNANDO!?)
'Tis/'Twas a minor offense and should/shall/was removed from my record.
But yes, currently eating almonds and drinking Tymbark (a polish brand of super-natural fruit juice blends) and fer some reason, either this juice mixture in particular or these damn almonds are making me get up and go to the bathroom ev'ry 4 secs, but that's no so bad, as long as my thighs are thinning out, losing a cm of fat or more every so often.
Which, by the way, being held in booking TOOK FOREVER. Being arrested is overrated here in the States (France was mucho worse) but the annoying part is you're moved from cell to cell depending how far along the paper process you are- which is literally fucking easy to document. After 6 cells (the 3rd being the fucking LONGEST), you see a judge, they order you to come back at a later date for a real hearing, and you're out. 16 hours, but meh, 'twas worth seeing me lose an inch of my thighs, they're firmer and more booty-ful (versus the bootylicious they were before).
Aside from that, life has been a plesant hell-hole. Temporarily re-awoken thoughts of suicide and frustration, some more arguments between me and the parentals, and the realization that Staples is a toxic fucking nightmare with the wrong manager at the pedal. No longer working at Staples, I'm now looking at the hopes that my resume is approved by *gasp* American Apparel! Hopefully they say yes (WISH ME LUCK!) and I'm one of there new IT guys, in a REAL IT environment, not the phony shit Staples claimed to be giving me.
More awesome sex with the Easy Button Guy, and hearing now and then from Fire Island Will, turned 20! *GASP* I'm fucking old! But meh, feeling no different except arrestable (vs the arresting-ing? I was the jailbait? yea, i miss that.)
Slowly going through my harddrive and deleting shit, trying to reorganize my digital life. my H.U.D. (or heads up display) is chunky, but organized, gonna have that cleaned out further soon.
My Easy Button has been super-sensitive as of recently, but still ever so pleasurizing (since it doesn't feel the pleasure, but I, nee Fernando does). Stopped using this de-sensitizing shit I used to use, and have been juggling around lubes (KY finishes so fucking fast), hopefully though, I'll get EBG to put on some Magnum Thins and really pound me out- no need for lubes though, 'cause KY's super long lasting (he thought I just wanted to rough fuck sans lube- No silly! KY was still fresh... as gross as that now sounds, ew). But yessir, gonna have my assizzle pounded *crosses fingers*
Been saving up now! Woot, I've reversed the money bandwagon and have been holding off on spending on ANYTHING, even food, I've been stinggy (stin-gee, as in astringent, or to be restrictive on what's to be done, ie. not paying for shit) all the way like the jew I-is-not.
Got EBG to sit down with me and watch Pam Ann's Come Fly With Me, (I think) He loved it (But I'm not sure, "the stairCAA-aaassse"), hopefully I can get him to watch the Blair Witch Project with me; don't like Horror flicks, bleh, GROW A PAIR! I was tormented for a week after the Blair, you can definitely handle it.
GOT MY BIKEY FIXED UP! OMFG! Front Brake works! Gear Shifts (sorta) work! (the larger, 3rd crank is shot, needa new set), just gotta get my Back Brakes up to speed.
hrm... trying to remember what else. My cock appears longer? I've been able to stroke it vs the fucking semi-card shuffle i _thought_ was "stroking".
That and I invented (in my head) a new coffee blend, called 'the Fernando Express',
recipe:
1 large (preferably) plastic cup
filled with ice
three/four shots of expresso
1 shot of [your choice of flavor, usually vanilla] syrup
add soy to fill it near-brim and sugar water until desired sweetness is met. Mix it like bitch shaking a polaroid, and you're good to go!
More than 4 of these and your vision will fade out, as mine had when I first had these.
Ps. It's basically a latte sans milk, with flavored syrup.
Wednesday, August 06, 2008
the best post-sex short sleep...
... i've had in ages! MONTHS!... or like 2 months, 7 days. blah blah to be exact.
And it was with my man Rob. Yessir, he's been named, woot! (i wonder if he'll strangle me?) but yessir, my Easy Button guy has awoken and put my ass to sleep with the fell swoop of his mighty cock, his bracing arms, his scathing hairiness, and his (surprisingly) hot-hotness.
Hrmp. What about Will?
Work has been dreadful. Rob's right- being vegan has caused my mood swings to go way, and i mean waaaaaaaaaaaaay up hill. My diet currently only being rice, beans and water doesn't contribute to my total wellness, although I'd like to submit to the jury that I _do_ gain that super boost in energy. Never before have I been able to work through an entire day without breaking down at some point and needing a nap, thus fucking over my sleep pattern. But now? I sleep well (albeit a bit boxy) and I sleep longer periods (albeit as long as I'm not asked to move.) At least I'm clean.
And I need to fix my financial scenario NOW! and FUCKING KILL BALLY'S, asshole made my debit account go under AGAIN, how the fuck does one OWE on a debit account?! Nigga, if they ain't no money in the bank, they ain't no money to be taken. Assholes. Blah, at least Commerce actually offers TOTALLY FREE banking, fucking WaMu, BoA, and Chase all have some shitty workup just to get free banking.
meh, i'm pooped, my co-workers are noticing my blehness, and my hair's gone *tear* WHAT AM I DOING TO MYSELF?! (Rob, don't answer that.)
And it was with my man Rob. Yessir, he's been named, woot! (i wonder if he'll strangle me?) but yessir, my Easy Button guy has awoken and put my ass to sleep with the fell swoop of his mighty cock, his bracing arms, his scathing hairiness, and his (surprisingly) hot-hotness.
Hrmp. What about Will?
Work has been dreadful. Rob's right- being vegan has caused my mood swings to go way, and i mean waaaaaaaaaaaaay up hill. My diet currently only being rice, beans and water doesn't contribute to my total wellness, although I'd like to submit to the jury that I _do_ gain that super boost in energy. Never before have I been able to work through an entire day without breaking down at some point and needing a nap, thus fucking over my sleep pattern. But now? I sleep well (albeit a bit boxy) and I sleep longer periods (albeit as long as I'm not asked to move.) At least I'm clean.
And I need to fix my financial scenario NOW! and FUCKING KILL BALLY'S, asshole made my debit account go under AGAIN, how the fuck does one OWE on a debit account?! Nigga, if they ain't no money in the bank, they ain't no money to be taken. Assholes. Blah, at least Commerce actually offers TOTALLY FREE banking, fucking WaMu, BoA, and Chase all have some shitty workup just to get free banking.
meh, i'm pooped, my co-workers are noticing my blehness, and my hair's gone *tear* WHAT AM I DOING TO MYSELF?! (Rob, don't answer that.)
Thursday, July 24, 2008
apricot sperm.
just finished masturbating- wow, am I really blogging this?
My cock was throbbing, VERY HARD, got solid really fast, is it used to my easy button being pounded at 12:28AM every day? Have I created a new habitual cycle? very unlike me.
Fucking cum went flying, EVERYWHERE. On my toes, on my CLEAN PAIR OF UNDIES, on my wrist, all over my palms. And I found the easiest way to clean up is, what better? than by swallowing my own cum :D Protein intake AND I get to judge how well I've been eating. Well holy cow (or holy soybean?) has there been a change. I've been downing apricot by the sillyzen, and I'm getting up to grab two now, made a major influence in how I taste, very fluidy (VERY FLUIDY), not salty nor bitter, very alkaline.
Welp, gotta run and get my washed apricots! The Boondocks just came on on Adult Swim, can't miss my nigga cartoon!
BTW, anyone know if Dr. Pepper is vegan? Wtf is in that list of 23 flavors? Taurine, EDTA, and boiled pork bones (ala US Gelatin)??
My cock was throbbing, VERY HARD, got solid really fast, is it used to my easy button being pounded at 12:28AM every day? Have I created a new habitual cycle? very unlike me.
Fucking cum went flying, EVERYWHERE. On my toes, on my CLEAN PAIR OF UNDIES, on my wrist, all over my palms. And I found the easiest way to clean up is, what better? than by swallowing my own cum :D Protein intake AND I get to judge how well I've been eating. Well holy cow (or holy soybean?) has there been a change. I've been downing apricot by the sillyzen, and I'm getting up to grab two now, made a major influence in how I taste, very fluidy (VERY FLUIDY), not salty nor bitter, very alkaline.
Welp, gotta run and get my washed apricots! The Boondocks just came on on Adult Swim, can't miss my nigga cartoon!
BTW, anyone know if Dr. Pepper is vegan? Wtf is in that list of 23 flavors? Taurine, EDTA, and boiled pork bones (ala US Gelatin)??
Wednesday, July 23, 2008
no fucking sex- I NEED MY EASY BUTTON PUSHED!!
So I'm the new Easy Resident Tech at store 1733 (Staples Express on Fresh Pond Rd in Queens) and I'm loving it- wish I didn't have to really do floor sales but I'm learning and getting good at it.
Har har, noooooo, I'm not an "Easy" tech, bitch. Ain't no one gettin' into my pants that easy.
Onto clarifying last post's tongue whetter-
No, I no longer have 5 guys in my life, CALM YOUR ASS YOU-KNOW-WHO. lol, I had many weeks before I met the current man in my life, now it's a split decision between two guys, and unfortunately, Imma have to drop 1. Poo.
Currently, I'm lounging with this sexy beast- hairy, muscular, manly, encompassing. Lovin' him and lovin' his fire. He can pound me and work my energy. Very good stuff.
But I have Fire Island Will. I can't skip him too, can I?
I loved what we had while on vacation, I loved how we slept together, how I worked into him and he worked into me (and this dude is also packing, gawd, why do I always get the hole-stretching big fish?!)
Well yuppers, 2 guys. Poo. Not seeing Fire Island Will, not in love with him, but I wonder if there's a chance for something really good being with him.
Seeing Easy Button Guy, not in love with him (and I don't wanna say anything that'll ruin what we have [I HOPE I HAVEN'T!]), but I kinda know where I stand with him, and I like that.
Fuck, I'm distracted every fucking second by the tele.
Well let's wrap this post asap before commercials are over:
-Fire Island (I HOPE!) this weekend! wooooo, just gotta _not_ blow my mula.
-Just hit 169 lbs this morning... ONE SIXTY! wooo, finally getting to 150! and soon -I'll be all buff and sexy. I just needed put my body into ketosis one more time and shed these last few pounds immediately, then I can start toning.
-Fucking binging on rice now (fucking Tropical Restaurant didn't want to accept my card 'cause my order was under $12 and my usual girl wasn't there, so I couldn't buy rice & beans earlier, now I'm binging much later before bed, gurrrr.)
-Figuring out my financial situation and how I can move the fuck out ASAP. EBG has pointed out how toxic my parents are (not that I wasn't aware) but finally made it so obvious that it really is hurting me.
Har har, noooooo, I'm not an "Easy" tech, bitch. Ain't no one gettin' into my pants that easy.
Onto clarifying last post's tongue whetter-
No, I no longer have 5 guys in my life, CALM YOUR ASS YOU-KNOW-WHO. lol, I had many weeks before I met the current man in my life, now it's a split decision between two guys, and unfortunately, Imma have to drop 1. Poo.
Currently, I'm lounging with this sexy beast- hairy, muscular, manly, encompassing. Lovin' him and lovin' his fire. He can pound me and work my energy. Very good stuff.
But I have Fire Island Will. I can't skip him too, can I?
I loved what we had while on vacation, I loved how we slept together, how I worked into him and he worked into me (and this dude is also packing, gawd, why do I always get the hole-stretching big fish?!)
Well yuppers, 2 guys. Poo. Not seeing Fire Island Will, not in love with him, but I wonder if there's a chance for something really good being with him.
Seeing Easy Button Guy, not in love with him (and I don't wanna say anything that'll ruin what we have [I HOPE I HAVEN'T!]), but I kinda know where I stand with him, and I like that.
Fuck, I'm distracted every fucking second by the tele.
Well let's wrap this post asap before commercials are over:
-Fire Island (I HOPE!) this weekend! wooooo, just gotta _not_ blow my mula.
-Just hit 169 lbs this morning... ONE SIXTY! wooo, finally getting to 150! and soon -I'll be all buff and sexy. I just needed put my body into ketosis one more time and shed these last few pounds immediately, then I can start toning.
-Fucking binging on rice now (fucking Tropical Restaurant didn't want to accept my card 'cause my order was under $12 and my usual girl wasn't there, so I couldn't buy rice & beans earlier, now I'm binging much later before bed, gurrrr.)
-Figuring out my financial situation and how I can move the fuck out ASAP. EBG has pointed out how toxic my parents are (not that I wasn't aware) but finally made it so obvious that it really is hurting me.
Wednesday, July 09, 2008
so fucking tired...
Well life has truly been fun thus far; landed a jerb @ Staples as the Easy Resident Tech (which is a great title but doesn't necessarily mean I don't have to do Floor Sales) and I've been managing my weight/watching as it slowly descends and rises around the 176lbs mark. Trying to manage my time and help friends all the while remain calm and poised to pull off the unthinkable, living flat-ass-broke this past week hasn't helped though and I've let many down on their expectations of me, right now I'm trying to win back their trust.
Don't wanna go into details on that just yet, just some bland text to get your tongue a little wet.
Well I have 3? no 4? no 5 boyfriends? nope, just 1, and he's coming back from Toronto soon, I'm dying of anxiety as I wait for his sexy ass to return and for him to hold me in his arms- right now I'm playing Fernando-safe and I shall be going into testing tomorrow mornin', gotta make sure I stay Neg. on all that nasty stuff!
Unfortunately, I'm pulling hairs on what to do with my current situation. Oh well, I'll let it play out and see what happens.
Now you just sit their a salivate. Details shall be posted next time around :D
Don't wanna go into details on that just yet, just some bland text to get your tongue a little wet.
Well I have 3? no 4? no 5 boyfriends? nope, just 1, and he's coming back from Toronto soon, I'm dying of anxiety as I wait for his sexy ass to return and for him to hold me in his arms- right now I'm playing Fernando-safe and I shall be going into testing tomorrow mornin', gotta make sure I stay Neg. on all that nasty stuff!
Unfortunately, I'm pulling hairs on what to do with my current situation. Oh well, I'll let it play out and see what happens.
Now you just sit their a salivate. Details shall be posted next time around :D
Tuesday, June 10, 2008
HILARIOUS!
so new-old-best-friend thru client Timmy (not Timmah, stoopid people) Ahmed just asked what's the deal with vegan, "can't eat anything with a shadow." Hilariousity ensued from my mouth. As always.
p.s. I owe you folks my long ass post of my trip to the Hamptons and Fire Island. Stay tuned. Betches. And Timmy's new name is Ahmed.
p.p.s It's pronounced VEE-GAN, as in began, WITH A BEE- long-E vowel sound, not VEG-GEN, wtf is that?
p.s. I owe you folks my long ass post of my trip to the Hamptons and Fire Island. Stay tuned. Betches. And Timmy's new name is Ahmed.
p.p.s It's pronounced VEE-GAN, as in began, WITH A BEE- long-E vowel sound, not VEG-GEN, wtf is that?
Monday, May 19, 2008
sore throats and walks of shame....
So before I get into graphic detail about my sex life, I shall and would _totally_ love to mention my bestest friend of many years, Mike:
http://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=10912964&ref=ts
He's in need of Love in his life... and sex from the female persons... whatever that may be :D
Anywhew, sore throats? walks of shame? yup, the new usual.
So this past Friday (May 17) I headed out to the sex party which in and of itself was somewhat of a bomb: left at 3PM but totally topped a fews guys and luckily got my ass plowed by a big cock (AND WOW, nigga almost plowed right through my abdomen.) The night ended stale when I didn't get to land this italian stud who was plowing (AND GETTING DOUBLE-STUFFED) by others dudes and not me; next party I'll make it a point to get double-fucked.
Did a semi-walk of shame as I don't see the sex party countin' for much, but it did feel so when my ass had to wait for the fucking L train to do it's shuttle service shit (the L train wasn't/isn't running on normal service and service time extended to about 30 mins+ longer...)
However, I've been texting this dude (not fervently, taking cues from drama between me and Max) Raymon about hoping he drop by Friday night (didn't 'cause he was busy with school work, TOTALLY fine by me) but he did respond Saturday night and we made the UTMOST GREATEST impromptu plans ever.
So it's Saturday 9PM (forgot what the beginning of my day was filled with) and I'm bullshiting my way out of why I'm hanging out so late (Amanda, Jaime, I totally owe you girls for knowing and doing exactly nothing!) I must say, I lie so horribly bad. Anywhew, So by the time I finally get ass on the train, it's 10PM. Mind you, I have to swing over to NJ (PATH train) which is a 30+ minute trip on its own. Add another hour and you have what was a meeting planned for 10 turn into a 12AM meet and "greet".
Meh, it's 2:30AM, don't blame me if my sentences aren't as coherent as they usually are.
Well I make my way over to his place in NJ, which, btw, holy fuck, so much green, and totally like how I remember it visitin' my aunt years ago. Make my way over to his place, having him guide me on the celly and meet me at the front door (he's so fucking cute). We make our way up to his place, a really nice place totally comfortable for 3 folk (he rooms with 2 other people, a chick and a dude who TOTALLY were not interrupting despite our 11AM sex romp, more on that in a few...)
Like I said, it's 12AM, prolly 12:30 now, and I sit myself at his computer desk (a Sony btw, what the hell is it with NJ'ers and Sony PCs? My aunt was the same), we exchange some words but most memorable was when he sat his lush ass on my lap, OH MY GOD, having this guy who I only _imagined_ would even dare look at me again sit on me, having his body near me, sent a huge thrill throughout my body and he immediately felt it because no sooner had he stood my shirt was already across the room, undies at my ankle, and I'm sucking his luscious, thick 8"? 9" cock.
He moans immediately, in love with how my mouth feels. I get up from his dick and quickly give him a taste of his pre-cum cock. He loves it, I love it. He hands me a towel, earlier he told me he wanted to shower before I get there and I told him to hold that thought- I want to shower with him (despite showering before I left the house anyhow.) He's thrilled at the thought and we quickly make our way to the bathroom straight across from his room.
This little wash 'n fuck... Well it was just 1 of 3 sessions :D
At first it was awkward; I've never really showered with another dude (ok, I did at my first sex party, but the dude REFUSED soap and fucking STANK, he chose to be that way as well, so fucking nasty) so I was all timid at first but instantly warmed up as soon as we made out. I quickly learned he's not into frenching, just the old style thick lip/open mouth situ which I used to do with my teen kisses (bah, I'm nineteen, who the hell am I kidding with my screwed timeline?) but yea, I turned him off at first when I explored his mouth a bit but quickly learned and soon it was more than trying to keep him off my lips but my chin, neck, nape, chest, nipple, and dick.
Things decided to get a bit more interesting; I played with his cock, squeezed him massively (he's soooo fucking huggable) and ate his ass out like nooo tomorrow.
Now we're making our way back to his room.
We're sucking face (quite literally) and just "grinding" our way on his tempur-pedic mattress :D
He's fucking my face with his thick cock when I decide to switch up gears and show him what I can do, give him a little Fernie-Rim :D This patented technique uses massive tongue at short distance for a very upclose and personal, thrilling, tingling sensation. Unfortunately it's a deadly technique which requires much practice and a tolerance for pain (one method as part of the technique requires the tongue to be supported, unfortunately, by the teeth causing the underside to be terribly attacked.)
FUCK. His asshole tasted so sweet.
We're deeply in our sweat session, getting hard, stopping, getting hard again, eating each other out. Take our first glance over at his clock and it's already 1:30 (wooo! we hit an hour and a half) and into the session a bit further it's now 2:30 (what the fuck? Time flies.) Apparently I'm on a mission on turning out guys because what I had thought would be an even of him fucking my ass raw, turned into an attempt to get into his very being, get into his hole and more.
I'm just eating him out, fucking his hole hard, choking on his cock and 69ing like there's no tomorrow. He orgasms like mad, cumming nice and long, thin and watery. I taste it, swallow it, love it. Unfortunately I pre-cummed my ass dry and couldn't reciprocate the love. No need, he's cool, at least I hope so.
It's this time we head over to the shower for a SECOND shower session, and by shower, I mean two types :D He has to pee and I've never tried watersports, so I duck under his cock in the tub and let him release his golden stream on me. FUCK, it's warm, very warm, and it feels great but augh -ugh *cough, cough, wheeze* aw man, fuck, I tasted a little more than I bargained for, ew, it tastes like popcorn! Warm as fuck popcorn! lol Does this break my veganism since it tasted like it had butter slathered over it?
I can still smell his piss.
We groped and kissed and loved our way in the shower. He has to piss again so I let him have his way on my face, this time not letting his urine go in my mouth or at least not swallowing but unfortunately it flies right up my nostril... He tries his hand at choking me some more and I'm loving it completely; I thought I'd never be the type into gagging but proof lies in my now sore, torn throat and utterly destroyed tongue, fuck I love him.
It seems I'm turning him out more and more as he wants me to give him a ride on my dick, huh? What about my hole? No, you know what? I'm gonna abuse this, I'm gonna fuck that nice sweet hole raw, push myself inside him and love him like no other. Unfortunately stank ass muthafucka creeps into my head and shuts off my system pronto, faster than thoughts of my family-how the fuck? I feel horrible to I shift myself down to size as to how I feel, I kneel before him and worship his cock. It only seems just.
Shower's over, we're squeaky clean again, even sparkly, and we head back to his room. FUCK, I want to live with him, be his sex slave. I totally don't remember the time but we sleep cuddling each other (it's around this time thoughts of Damian sneak in and his unfortunate night with that dude who wanted nothing BUT to cuddle with him, so I play this night to his likings, have his signal to me whenever he wants to be squeezed by me, which was, thankfully, ALL THE TIME.)
We huggle and squeeze and sleep, I unfortunately wake up around 6, to go back to sleep, to wake at 7, to go back to sleep, to wake at 8... and stay awake. I pretend to sleep longer but really just enjoy his presence. He unfortunately has the world's most annoying fucking cellphone, cute and stylish in black, but the shit never stops, even when I get up at 10AM, fix his PC, climb back in bed around 11AM, fuck until 2PM, does it keep fucking ringing. What can I say? He's a 'popular thug'. Yea, you google that, add 'lyrics' to your search as well.
This time we head over to the bathroom for a third shower (gotta keep squeeky clean, especially after I poked his hole a few times and make him cum, only to this time please him with a gob of cum I had meant to serve him much earlier, he loved it by the way, got to know how I really felt.) This time- during the previous showers I'd serve my ass, well this time he served his, hands on the wall and ass puckered up. Again, stank dude has plagued me for life and I couldn't get hard for him. I need to buy a cock ring.
Back to the room, his PC is fixed, and we cuddle until about 3:30PM when after the billionth txt/msg/call, he has to meetup with his friend. I think it best not to deny him a present before I'm off. So guess what? Another fuck session. What I thought would just be me servicing him turned into a bit more. Eat out his ass, choke on his cock, love him all over, fuck his hole, make him blow his load (and by blow, he shoots, really shoots, passing over his belly button and onto his sheets) and I ask him, "want me to blow my load on you?"
"Yes."
Fuck. Right on him , all over his nutsack, just jizz-no, more than jizz, unload a cupful of cum, again, my appreciation is bestowed. I believe his look says it most of all, a nice mix of surprise and happiness. I love him, I really love his sex and persona. Off I go, in my shorts (he believes I'm crazy for coming out to Jersey in gym shorts and heading off in the same pair, after it rained, still moist in the air. My throat hurts, but I can sing so much better, "Madonna never sang so good." I hop on the PATH, get a seat, and love myself to death. I can feel my skin glow. I'm radiant and I show it. Transfer to the MTA, a guy-a REALLY HOT WHITE GUY WITH AN ARM SLING notices me, MORE than notices, he kinda stalks me, hehe. Luckily I snuck away unto a shuttle bus and watch him trying to find me in the crowd. Ahh, so Femme Fatale-ish. Well for what? 'cause now there's 5 OTHER DUDES CHECKING ME OUT! OMG, wtf?! Some cute, some aren't. Meh, I'm the chasee, you gotta come after me. Soon I'll be a chaser.
Well fast forward a bit, on the train again waiting for the L, this guy I frequently see who think he's hot shit gives me the eye this time and it only further makes me happy. Yay. I'm totally in love with myself. I'm home, I txt him, he's happy. I'm happy. We're happy. And I'm typing away at my heart's content.
I wonder if he noticed my deformed toenail...
http://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=10912964&ref=ts
He's in need of Love in his life... and sex from the female persons... whatever that may be :D
Anywhew, sore throats? walks of shame? yup, the new usual.
So this past Friday (May 17) I headed out to the sex party which in and of itself was somewhat of a bomb: left at 3PM but totally topped a fews guys and luckily got my ass plowed by a big cock (AND WOW, nigga almost plowed right through my abdomen.) The night ended stale when I didn't get to land this italian stud who was plowing (AND GETTING DOUBLE-STUFFED) by others dudes and not me; next party I'll make it a point to get double-fucked.
Did a semi-walk of shame as I don't see the sex party countin' for much, but it did feel so when my ass had to wait for the fucking L train to do it's shuttle service shit (the L train wasn't/isn't running on normal service and service time extended to about 30 mins+ longer...)
However, I've been texting this dude (not fervently, taking cues from drama between me and Max) Raymon about hoping he drop by Friday night (didn't 'cause he was busy with school work, TOTALLY fine by me) but he did respond Saturday night and we made the UTMOST GREATEST impromptu plans ever.
So it's Saturday 9PM (forgot what the beginning of my day was filled with) and I'm bullshiting my way out of why I'm hanging out so late (Amanda, Jaime, I totally owe you girls for knowing and doing exactly nothing!) I must say, I lie so horribly bad. Anywhew, So by the time I finally get ass on the train, it's 10PM. Mind you, I have to swing over to NJ (PATH train) which is a 30+ minute trip on its own. Add another hour and you have what was a meeting planned for 10 turn into a 12AM meet and "greet".
Meh, it's 2:30AM, don't blame me if my sentences aren't as coherent as they usually are.
Well I make my way over to his place in NJ, which, btw, holy fuck, so much green, and totally like how I remember it visitin' my aunt years ago. Make my way over to his place, having him guide me on the celly and meet me at the front door (he's so fucking cute). We make our way up to his place, a really nice place totally comfortable for 3 folk (he rooms with 2 other people, a chick and a dude who TOTALLY were not interrupting despite our 11AM sex romp, more on that in a few...)
Like I said, it's 12AM, prolly 12:30 now, and I sit myself at his computer desk (a Sony btw, what the hell is it with NJ'ers and Sony PCs? My aunt was the same), we exchange some words but most memorable was when he sat his lush ass on my lap, OH MY GOD, having this guy who I only _imagined_ would even dare look at me again sit on me, having his body near me, sent a huge thrill throughout my body and he immediately felt it because no sooner had he stood my shirt was already across the room, undies at my ankle, and I'm sucking his luscious, thick 8"? 9" cock.
He moans immediately, in love with how my mouth feels. I get up from his dick and quickly give him a taste of his pre-cum cock. He loves it, I love it. He hands me a towel, earlier he told me he wanted to shower before I get there and I told him to hold that thought- I want to shower with him (despite showering before I left the house anyhow.) He's thrilled at the thought and we quickly make our way to the bathroom straight across from his room.
This little wash 'n fuck... Well it was just 1 of 3 sessions :D
At first it was awkward; I've never really showered with another dude (ok, I did at my first sex party, but the dude REFUSED soap and fucking STANK, he chose to be that way as well, so fucking nasty) so I was all timid at first but instantly warmed up as soon as we made out. I quickly learned he's not into frenching, just the old style thick lip/open mouth situ which I used to do with my teen kisses (bah, I'm nineteen, who the hell am I kidding with my screwed timeline?) but yea, I turned him off at first when I explored his mouth a bit but quickly learned and soon it was more than trying to keep him off my lips but my chin, neck, nape, chest, nipple, and dick.
Things decided to get a bit more interesting; I played with his cock, squeezed him massively (he's soooo fucking huggable) and ate his ass out like nooo tomorrow.
Now we're making our way back to his room.
We're sucking face (quite literally) and just "grinding" our way on his tempur-pedic mattress :D
He's fucking my face with his thick cock when I decide to switch up gears and show him what I can do, give him a little Fernie-Rim :D This patented technique uses massive tongue at short distance for a very upclose and personal, thrilling, tingling sensation. Unfortunately it's a deadly technique which requires much practice and a tolerance for pain (one method as part of the technique requires the tongue to be supported, unfortunately, by the teeth causing the underside to be terribly attacked.)
FUCK. His asshole tasted so sweet.
We're deeply in our sweat session, getting hard, stopping, getting hard again, eating each other out. Take our first glance over at his clock and it's already 1:30 (wooo! we hit an hour and a half) and into the session a bit further it's now 2:30 (what the fuck? Time flies.) Apparently I'm on a mission on turning out guys because what I had thought would be an even of him fucking my ass raw, turned into an attempt to get into his very being, get into his hole and more.
I'm just eating him out, fucking his hole hard, choking on his cock and 69ing like there's no tomorrow. He orgasms like mad, cumming nice and long, thin and watery. I taste it, swallow it, love it. Unfortunately I pre-cummed my ass dry and couldn't reciprocate the love. No need, he's cool, at least I hope so.
It's this time we head over to the shower for a SECOND shower session, and by shower, I mean two types :D He has to pee and I've never tried watersports, so I duck under his cock in the tub and let him release his golden stream on me. FUCK, it's warm, very warm, and it feels great but augh -ugh *cough, cough, wheeze* aw man, fuck, I tasted a little more than I bargained for, ew, it tastes like popcorn! Warm as fuck popcorn! lol Does this break my veganism since it tasted like it had butter slathered over it?
I can still smell his piss.
We groped and kissed and loved our way in the shower. He has to piss again so I let him have his way on my face, this time not letting his urine go in my mouth or at least not swallowing but unfortunately it flies right up my nostril... He tries his hand at choking me some more and I'm loving it completely; I thought I'd never be the type into gagging but proof lies in my now sore, torn throat and utterly destroyed tongue, fuck I love him.
It seems I'm turning him out more and more as he wants me to give him a ride on my dick, huh? What about my hole? No, you know what? I'm gonna abuse this, I'm gonna fuck that nice sweet hole raw, push myself inside him and love him like no other. Unfortunately stank ass muthafucka creeps into my head and shuts off my system pronto, faster than thoughts of my family-how the fuck? I feel horrible to I shift myself down to size as to how I feel, I kneel before him and worship his cock. It only seems just.
Shower's over, we're squeaky clean again, even sparkly, and we head back to his room. FUCK, I want to live with him, be his sex slave. I totally don't remember the time but we sleep cuddling each other (it's around this time thoughts of Damian sneak in and his unfortunate night with that dude who wanted nothing BUT to cuddle with him, so I play this night to his likings, have his signal to me whenever he wants to be squeezed by me, which was, thankfully, ALL THE TIME.)
We huggle and squeeze and sleep, I unfortunately wake up around 6, to go back to sleep, to wake at 7, to go back to sleep, to wake at 8... and stay awake. I pretend to sleep longer but really just enjoy his presence. He unfortunately has the world's most annoying fucking cellphone, cute and stylish in black, but the shit never stops, even when I get up at 10AM, fix his PC, climb back in bed around 11AM, fuck until 2PM, does it keep fucking ringing. What can I say? He's a 'popular thug'. Yea, you google that, add 'lyrics' to your search as well.
This time we head over to the bathroom for a third shower (gotta keep squeeky clean, especially after I poked his hole a few times and make him cum, only to this time please him with a gob of cum I had meant to serve him much earlier, he loved it by the way, got to know how I really felt.) This time- during the previous showers I'd serve my ass, well this time he served his, hands on the wall and ass puckered up. Again, stank dude has plagued me for life and I couldn't get hard for him. I need to buy a cock ring.
Back to the room, his PC is fixed, and we cuddle until about 3:30PM when after the billionth txt/msg/call, he has to meetup with his friend. I think it best not to deny him a present before I'm off. So guess what? Another fuck session. What I thought would just be me servicing him turned into a bit more. Eat out his ass, choke on his cock, love him all over, fuck his hole, make him blow his load (and by blow, he shoots, really shoots, passing over his belly button and onto his sheets) and I ask him, "want me to blow my load on you?"
"Yes."
Fuck. Right on him , all over his nutsack, just jizz-no, more than jizz, unload a cupful of cum, again, my appreciation is bestowed. I believe his look says it most of all, a nice mix of surprise and happiness. I love him, I really love his sex and persona. Off I go, in my shorts (he believes I'm crazy for coming out to Jersey in gym shorts and heading off in the same pair, after it rained, still moist in the air. My throat hurts, but I can sing so much better, "Madonna never sang so good." I hop on the PATH, get a seat, and love myself to death. I can feel my skin glow. I'm radiant and I show it. Transfer to the MTA, a guy-a REALLY HOT WHITE GUY WITH AN ARM SLING notices me, MORE than notices, he kinda stalks me, hehe. Luckily I snuck away unto a shuttle bus and watch him trying to find me in the crowd. Ahh, so Femme Fatale-ish. Well for what? 'cause now there's 5 OTHER DUDES CHECKING ME OUT! OMG, wtf?! Some cute, some aren't. Meh, I'm the chasee, you gotta come after me. Soon I'll be a chaser.
Well fast forward a bit, on the train again waiting for the L, this guy I frequently see who think he's hot shit gives me the eye this time and it only further makes me happy. Yay. I'm totally in love with myself. I'm home, I txt him, he's happy. I'm happy. We're happy. And I'm typing away at my heart's content.
I wonder if he noticed my deformed toenail...
Monday, May 12, 2008
ahh... fresh? not so...
So mien night spent with 41 year old dude was nice, went to see a movie, a bit scary at first because I'm very self-conscious. Alas, night went well overall, lots of touchy-touchy, kissy-kissy (at least for me) and all types of head-connected-ness.
Let me recap on how the events were planned...
May 9th, Friday
Chatting it up on Meebo wif Yuu, secksy polish beast, hehe. Detail-in-simple my plans for Friday afternoon:
fuck w/1st dude, a fugly ecuadorian, Justin, bottom, who wanted to fuck me. Accidentally overslept
and so I missed out on stopping by his way. Called by no response, his lost.
'fuck' w/2nd dude, Mike, 41 y/o, didn't turn out into any touchy-feely since i got by his way mad late, we met at a chinese takeout restaurant nearby his way and I sat as he ate and giggled his laugh away, scared the BEJESUS outta me and made me so self-conscious I wanted to pop a cyanide pill and hari kari my ass there and then.
fuck party (2nd time), themensparty, LOVED IT, AB-SO-FUCKING-LUTELY LOVED IT!
Totally worth the $20 donation. I recommend all cuties who don't mind fucking and/or being fucked by whomever to come on by! Join Adam4Adam and check for the posting under "Party Events", for those in the NYC-region, willing to come 11PM and fuck to 3AM.
Got home like 4AM, wow. lol, but yea, I connected with this SO FUCKING CUTE white guy, I think my explanation to yuu says it:
[09:30] Mr. Trouble Maker: anywhew, sex party i got to 40 mins late
[09:30] Mr. Trouble Maker: not so bad though as i landed there right on time for the hawt dudes, and i mean really young hawt dudes
[09:30] Mr. Trouble Maker: like FINALLY near my age, 21, 22, 18, 25
[09:30] Yuuhi || I have Attitude: lol
[09:30] Yuuhi || I have Attitude: you slut!
[09:30] Mr. Trouble Maker: i loved it, possible hookup with this cute young dude
[09:30] Yuuhi || I have Attitude: how many did u fuck!?
[09:30] Mr. Trouble Maker: I AM! totally am
[09:31] Mr. Trouble Maker: i actually fucked this short good looking indie/nerdy white dude
[09:31] Yuuhi || I have Attitude: how u wore a rubber
[09:31] Mr. Trouble Maker: i have a prob staying hard and being able to fuck a dude (years of being home before a screen watching porn)
[09:31] Mr. Trouble Maker: but totally gone now
[09:31] Mr. Trouble Maker: yea, i got a rubber on and fucked him in a sling
[09:31] Mr. Trouble Maker: BEAUTIFUL HOLE, I felt his very inside, I was in him, it thrilled me
[09:32] Mr. Trouble Maker: he was in me at first, soooo polite, yet soooo strict
[09:32] Yuuhi || I have Attitude: lol
hehe "I was in him, it thrilled me"
So very true. Alas I didn't get to leave with him or get his number, etc. I'm such a fucking slut.
Instead I left with 3 guys, 2 cuties, 1 who's in CU, Scott? I forget his name *meep*, the other, Ramon, and a fugly annoying black kid. We had the onliest convo (me and the black kid) discussing music that unnerved everyone around us, I'm sorry folks! But the conversation between me and Ramon was beautiful, almost lyrically so, even before we left the place when he asked that I show him my dick. LOL, true beauty! Well CU Scott's in love with the dude but unfortunately Ramon doesn't necessarily care to reciprocate such feelings. Aww, I even kept to myself for fear of causing Scott to be angry with me for trying to take his man! Which brings me to my next story:
May 10, little bro's BIRTHDAY!!! He turned 15, awww, so yea, We went out to the movies, me and mama saw Baby Mama and little bro-n-dad went to see Iron Man, which, BTW, Fucking theater was packed, was a line JUST to get into the theater for seats, wow. But yea, Baby Mama finished earlier and we snuck over to watch from the middle-to-the-end of Iron Man, love the flick. This time though, we stayed afterwards past the credits to catch the sneak preview of the next flick. Um, BLACK NICK FURY?! OMFG, They're apparently using Ultimate Nick Fury rather than the regular Nick Fury from the regular Marvel Universe, plus Warhammer might make an appearance int he next Iron flick, hope that happens so.
Later in the day heading home, 'bout 11PM, drama occurs. I'm not going into details but ask me and ye shall know. I'm gonna private post is in LJ for reference, later bringing it to here if I feel it appropriate.
basically, it's with Max and this silly love interest of his with Mike. I personally find the guy nice, cool, requiring better online grammar/spelling/the works, but cute and fuck-me-able.
May 11, Sunday, Mama's Day
Shit continues, I started the day off departing from fam (mama heading to nj to celebrate with her mama and brandon's bday, dad went to see his mama) to go to client's daughter Confirmation party, arrive a little late, but not so bad. Very small party surprisingly, but chatted it up and tailed Sheila and friends, 'twas fun. Drink server's a pedophile/Sheila-stalker so made for excellent conversation during and after the party. At one point, Sheila brings me and friends into the "Reading Room, a safe haven for writers, readers and poets" when after the friends leave and we're settled, he litterally comes and and exclaims "so THIS! is the mysterious Reading Room I've been hearing about" to only freak the fuck outta Sheila and me, especially when he stares her down with this Hannibal Lecter smile that only was made worse coupled with his grey/silver hair, pulled back and gelled, and tall demeanor, sooo fucking freaky. Later as he undress (removed his serving jacket) and was only in his collared white shirt, he totally seemed fuckable; I imagined me and him riding my black double-ended dildo, really. Got hard and had to hide it, so embarrasing.
Later in the day I txt Max, telling him I'm ashamed of his actions (which were later unwarranted since the way shit worked out), just a big WTF that went from me blaming him and Karina for the current situation to me looking like an asshole, what ever, I give up on caring and now am only worrying for me.
Well, so far now I'm gonna hit the sack. I gotta get up nice and early for Madonna tix, and to call a client to tell them I'm gonna be late since i'm ordering Madonna tix *tear*.
PRAY I GET GLORIOUS SEATS!
Let me recap on how the events were planned...
May 9th, Friday
Chatting it up on Meebo wif Yuu, secksy polish beast, hehe. Detail-in-simple my plans for Friday afternoon:
fuck w/1st dude, a fugly ecuadorian, Justin, bottom, who wanted to fuck me. Accidentally overslept
and so I missed out on stopping by his way. Called by no response, his lost.
'fuck' w/2nd dude, Mike, 41 y/o, didn't turn out into any touchy-feely since i got by his way mad late, we met at a chinese takeout restaurant nearby his way and I sat as he ate and giggled his laugh away, scared the BEJESUS outta me and made me so self-conscious I wanted to pop a cyanide pill and hari kari my ass there and then.
fuck party (2nd time), themensparty, LOVED IT, AB-SO-FUCKING-LUTELY LOVED IT!
Totally worth the $20 donation. I recommend all cuties who don't mind fucking and/or being fucked by whomever to come on by! Join Adam4Adam and check for the posting under "Party Events", for those in the NYC-region, willing to come 11PM and fuck to 3AM.
Got home like 4AM, wow. lol, but yea, I connected with this SO FUCKING CUTE white guy, I think my explanation to yuu says it:
[09:30] Mr. Trouble Maker: anywhew, sex party i got to 40 mins late
[09:30] Mr. Trouble Maker: not so bad though as i landed there right on time for the hawt dudes, and i mean really young hawt dudes
[09:30] Mr. Trouble Maker: like FINALLY near my age, 21, 22, 18, 25
[09:30] Yuuhi || I have Attitude: lol
[09:30] Yuuhi || I have Attitude: you slut!
[09:30] Mr. Trouble Maker: i loved it, possible hookup with this cute young dude
[09:30] Yuuhi || I have Attitude: how many did u fuck!?
[09:30] Mr. Trouble Maker: I AM! totally am
[09:31] Mr. Trouble Maker: i actually fucked this short good looking indie/nerdy white dude
[09:31] Yuuhi || I have Attitude: how u wore a rubber
[09:31] Mr. Trouble Maker: i have a prob staying hard and being able to fuck a dude (years of being home before a screen watching porn)
[09:31] Mr. Trouble Maker: but totally gone now
[09:31] Mr. Trouble Maker: yea, i got a rubber on and fucked him in a sling
[09:31] Mr. Trouble Maker: BEAUTIFUL HOLE, I felt his very inside, I was in him, it thrilled me
[09:32] Mr. Trouble Maker: he was in me at first, soooo polite, yet soooo strict
[09:32] Yuuhi || I have Attitude: lol
hehe "I was in him, it thrilled me"
So very true. Alas I didn't get to leave with him or get his number, etc. I'm such a fucking slut.
Instead I left with 3 guys, 2 cuties, 1 who's in CU, Scott? I forget his name *meep*, the other, Ramon, and a fugly annoying black kid. We had the onliest convo (me and the black kid) discussing music that unnerved everyone around us, I'm sorry folks! But the conversation between me and Ramon was beautiful, almost lyrically so, even before we left the place when he asked that I show him my dick. LOL, true beauty! Well CU Scott's in love with the dude but unfortunately Ramon doesn't necessarily care to reciprocate such feelings. Aww, I even kept to myself for fear of causing Scott to be angry with me for trying to take his man! Which brings me to my next story:
May 10, little bro's BIRTHDAY!!! He turned 15, awww, so yea, We went out to the movies, me and mama saw Baby Mama and little bro-n-dad went to see Iron Man, which, BTW, Fucking theater was packed, was a line JUST to get into the theater for seats, wow. But yea, Baby Mama finished earlier and we snuck over to watch from the middle-to-the-end of Iron Man, love the flick. This time though, we stayed afterwards past the credits to catch the sneak preview of the next flick. Um, BLACK NICK FURY?! OMFG, They're apparently using Ultimate Nick Fury rather than the regular Nick Fury from the regular Marvel Universe, plus Warhammer might make an appearance int he next Iron flick, hope that happens so.
Later in the day heading home, 'bout 11PM, drama occurs. I'm not going into details but ask me and ye shall know. I'm gonna private post is in LJ for reference, later bringing it to here if I feel it appropriate.
basically, it's with Max and this silly love interest of his with Mike. I personally find the guy nice, cool, requiring better online grammar/spelling/the works, but cute and fuck-me-able.
May 11, Sunday, Mama's Day
Shit continues, I started the day off departing from fam (mama heading to nj to celebrate with her mama and brandon's bday, dad went to see his mama) to go to client's daughter Confirmation party, arrive a little late, but not so bad. Very small party surprisingly, but chatted it up and tailed Sheila and friends, 'twas fun. Drink server's a pedophile/Sheila-stalker so made for excellent conversation during and after the party. At one point, Sheila brings me and friends into the "Reading Room, a safe haven for writers, readers and poets" when after the friends leave and we're settled, he litterally comes and and exclaims "so THIS! is the mysterious Reading Room I've been hearing about" to only freak the fuck outta Sheila and me, especially when he stares her down with this Hannibal Lecter smile that only was made worse coupled with his grey/silver hair, pulled back and gelled, and tall demeanor, sooo fucking freaky. Later as he undress (removed his serving jacket) and was only in his collared white shirt, he totally seemed fuckable; I imagined me and him riding my black double-ended dildo, really. Got hard and had to hide it, so embarrasing.
Later in the day I txt Max, telling him I'm ashamed of his actions (which were later unwarranted since the way shit worked out), just a big WTF that went from me blaming him and Karina for the current situation to me looking like an asshole, what ever, I give up on caring and now am only worrying for me.
Well, so far now I'm gonna hit the sack. I gotta get up nice and early for Madonna tix, and to call a client to tell them I'm gonna be late since i'm ordering Madonna tix *tear*.
PRAY I GET GLORIOUS SEATS!
Friday, May 09, 2008
here we go again!
Hrm, another Friday morning, another day wasted. meh.
Well I rsvp'd for another night at the sex party. Website's down, wtf, shall make note of that, but search Adam4Adam shall yield you the MensParty post. Anywhew, I'm just hoping that stinky dude won't be there again... or at least talks A WHOLE LOT LESS (read NOT AT ALL) this time, has showered, and will be a little more free with positions.
Plus I gotta play catch up on something I could do :D
Going full-Vegan hasn't been too hard. Quite enjoyable though as I pig out on more nutritional foods without feeling that sad, empty-yet-full feeling. I've also noticed my thoughts for longing for love have nearly disappeared all together, I'm not longer haunting sites such as ManHunt or A4A (though I never really "haunted" that as much) and I'm more lax in the guys I'm restricting myself from chasing :D All-in-all goodness is to be- and has been- had.
Right now I need to poop, brb...
___________________________________________________
Fuck it, dad's in the crapper smoking it the fuck up. I hate marijuanna. Smoking in general. Plus he has the audacity to tell me to "lose some weight, exercise." Nigguh, I have lost weight (though now I'm settled at 204), and I shall be exercising! I needa gym buddy though, augh.
Well later I have to clean my hole out (shit dick is not cute) and make sure to restrict diet for the rest of the day (BRING ON THA WATAH!)
Ugh. In other news, MADONNA STICKY AND SWEET 2008 CONCERT FOR HARD CANDY! WTF!!! SO GOTTA GET TICKETS! Right now I'm in talks with my best friend/client who has a Citi Bank card and can totally purchase them, I'm looking to see if she shall buy 4, or at least 3, and if not- 2. 4 for Moi, Har, Moi Best Fraund, and Har Dawtur. That order. And Floorstanding Front Row Tix Bitch. Not the nose bleeds for 20 bucks, _I_ can get those. At any amount, I'm also looking to get myself a Citi credit card pronto, even if I have to drive myself into further debt and get them myself ^_^
Alas, freelance has be close to nil. I have to grasp as few clients I'm getting and pray I can survive on what little I ask. So very frustrating. Hopefully I can also drag the work a little longer than necessary and increase my pay, but I hate doing such. I'm also stressing to finish fast despite the opposite.
Also, some Asians just aren't gifted- Bless their hearts.
Well I rsvp'd for another night at the sex party. Website's down, wtf, shall make note of that, but search Adam4Adam shall yield you the MensParty post. Anywhew, I'm just hoping that stinky dude won't be there again... or at least talks A WHOLE LOT LESS (read NOT AT ALL) this time, has showered, and will be a little more free with positions.
Plus I gotta play catch up on something I could do :D
Going full-Vegan hasn't been too hard. Quite enjoyable though as I pig out on more nutritional foods without feeling that sad, empty-yet-full feeling. I've also noticed my thoughts for longing for love have nearly disappeared all together, I'm not longer haunting sites such as ManHunt or A4A (though I never really "haunted" that as much) and I'm more lax in the guys I'm restricting myself from chasing :D All-in-all goodness is to be- and has been- had.
Right now I need to poop, brb...
___________________________________________________
Fuck it, dad's in the crapper smoking it the fuck up. I hate marijuanna. Smoking in general. Plus he has the audacity to tell me to "lose some weight, exercise." Nigguh, I have lost weight (though now I'm settled at 204), and I shall be exercising! I needa gym buddy though, augh.
Well later I have to clean my hole out (shit dick is not cute) and make sure to restrict diet for the rest of the day (BRING ON THA WATAH!)
Ugh. In other news, MADONNA STICKY AND SWEET 2008 CONCERT FOR HARD CANDY! WTF!!! SO GOTTA GET TICKETS! Right now I'm in talks with my best friend/client who has a Citi Bank card and can totally purchase them, I'm looking to see if she shall buy 4, or at least 3, and if not- 2. 4 for Moi, Har, Moi Best Fraund, and Har Dawtur. That order. And Floorstanding Front Row Tix Bitch. Not the nose bleeds for 20 bucks, _I_ can get those. At any amount, I'm also looking to get myself a Citi credit card pronto, even if I have to drive myself into further debt and get them myself ^_^
Alas, freelance has be close to nil. I have to grasp as few clients I'm getting and pray I can survive on what little I ask. So very frustrating. Hopefully I can also drag the work a little longer than necessary and increase my pay, but I hate doing such. I'm also stressing to finish fast despite the opposite.
Also, some Asians just aren't gifted- Bless their hearts.
Saturday, April 19, 2008
smell like a ho...
and I prolly look like one too. Ugh. So now I'm definitely an ulti-slut.
Last night ventured my ass to a "Sexy" Party. Okay, it wasn't a "sexy" party per-se, definitely sexy dudes roaming naked, and I mean REAL sexy dudes, but it was all about the sex. It was a sex party. Nice, anonymous, gratuitous and satisfying sex. And I was the popular slut that night.
This began 9PM last night (Friday, April 18, 2008, just keeping records, keep reading), the time the party began, and me of course, nervous as fuck, didn't think I'd make it, wanted to be on time and shit. Well I was uber ontime, 9 on the dot, for nearly nothing since nobody arrived yet and my ass had ta wait 'till 11 when the party really started.
Summary of 9-11, stuck on the couch, waiting for the other folks to trickle in, watching a John Waters' flick, Female Trouble no less (1974), omfg, Divine is Duh-gross. Clearly, largely, whatever. Ugh. And SOOO not helpful in gettin' the mood or the conversation up, one couldn't help but be appalled all the while stare, it was like a cat was being decapitated right before us. WTF where you on John? Seriously.
Well once 11 hit and I noticed folks were suddenly disappearing (I was obvi on late call since the fucking already began and sex was now steaming from the sex room), I made my way over to see wassup and WOOOF, what a sight! Four dudes fucking openly on the single springy mattress in the room, just poundin' ass, dudes lined up against the adjacent wall, stroking their meats or fringe-fucking a dude. I decided to do my WallFlower Petal Dance, whereby I follow along the wall, find a nice spot, scan the room, and participate as I can. Well guy #1 finds me, starts messin' with my nipple and stroking my throbbing cock. Wee, I'm in on the action now! Glance his way and notice the dude must be in his late 30's to midish 40's. Ew, I'd never dude this guy on the street. Well we get into some good gridin' since he activated Leo Fernando quite well (Leo Fernando hasn't been out in well over a CENTURY, so he's definitely lettin' out a roar!) So much so, that I start attracting guys #2 'n #3, 2 who strokes my cock whilest grinding my cock with 1 and 3 who eats my ass out and gives it a hot finger. ScheiBe, my cock's getting hard remembering. Well he gives it a nice finger, I'm moaning and groaning, totally into the situation. Of course, I'm very impromptu, so I prop my ass up and out for him to go a bit further. I meant two or three fingers further, I wanted my hole open. NOT fuck me sans condom further. Guess what? I felt his hot cock in my hole further. Nice, thick meaty head. WOW. Leo Fernando is VERY HAPPY right now, I ride his cock for a few minutes when BAM, unloads in my hot fat ass. lol, he got off so quick and was apologizing but I of course took it as an ultimate compliment and he glad I was glad. So guy #3 walks off with a very large Grin, unfortunately signaling to guy #4 I'm good. BTW, the few minutes was about 4 'cause his ass cam fast and but long and I was surprised by his leaving my hole so soon. Just so I don't forget, I'm still pounding Guy #1, 30's-40's. Guy #2, 40's, possibly 30's as his hair is still red, Guy #3, 20's-30's, and now Guy #4, black dude, lovin' my hole and eating the fresh cum drippin' out.
Not even 20 minutes into this and I'm already cum-filled, WTF! I think I'm HIV+ now but I pray not. Well guy #4 inserts his long dick in my ass and hands it a pounding, WOOF, in love again, and this one cums quick too. WTF! Am I that hot? He's grinnin' as he walks away. Wow, magic ass of mine, lol. Still hopin' I ain't +.
So Guy #5 decides to take a chance and fondles me here and there, of course Guy #1 leaves since we've been griding this entire time and he wanted me to top him, didn't have the heart unfortunately for him to tell him I'm a bottom too, primarily because my dick's so sensitive and I can't keep it hard unless we're on the mattress.
Well Guy #5, I can't remember if this is smelly dude or not but I'll say it is.
By now I'm 1hr-2hrs into the party when smelly dude comes up to me. He's prolly 50's-60's-ish. I know, EW. but wtf, the guy has a thick dick and he wants to fuck me! Unfortunately he has the problem to want to speak while fucking, want to get to know. Uggers... Thankfully he can fuck because that was THE only thing offsetting his constant need to talk. So much so we end up fucking until the absolute end of the party, 2AM the next day. WOW. I know, he could keep up, I could keep up. Fucking like bunnies. Had waaaay too many rules regarding how he likes to fuck but shit he taught me a bit more. I think I have a new posish too, hehe. But he was good, nice thick dick, I'd totally be his bf if ONLY he showered, I wouldn't mind if he wanted me to soap and lather his ass up and clean it, shit, just smell good and you can fuck me anytime! Proper hygiene guys! I thought I stank but wtf! Anywhew, the dude's also into some nasty shit, wants me to grow dick cheese so he can sniff and maybe more. Together everybody: EWWWWWWWW!!!!
SO yes, I was fucked by no more than 7 guys, including an asian dude who kept all his clothes on and was just scanning and couldn't get anything, poor guy, had him put on a CD since smelly dude had to lesson me on barebacking, and asain dude rode my ass 'til he came, I gave him a nice ride lol. But he loved it. Came quick too, thank me head bow style and left. Yay, score +1 fer the Fernando!
Well I'm definitely happy of course, shower up and head home with my own gift nicely stuffed in my ass. Though I did clean out most of the cum before I left, I know there was still some deep inside me :D
However, let's pray I don't have ANY STDs, specifically HIV. PRAY!
Last night ventured my ass to a "Sexy" Party. Okay, it wasn't a "sexy" party per-se, definitely sexy dudes roaming naked, and I mean REAL sexy dudes, but it was all about the sex. It was a sex party. Nice, anonymous, gratuitous and satisfying sex. And I was the popular slut that night.
This began 9PM last night (Friday, April 18, 2008, just keeping records, keep reading), the time the party began, and me of course, nervous as fuck, didn't think I'd make it, wanted to be on time and shit. Well I was uber ontime, 9 on the dot, for nearly nothing since nobody arrived yet and my ass had ta wait 'till 11 when the party really started.
Summary of 9-11, stuck on the couch, waiting for the other folks to trickle in, watching a John Waters' flick, Female Trouble no less (1974), omfg, Divine is Duh-gross. Clearly, largely, whatever. Ugh. And SOOO not helpful in gettin' the mood or the conversation up, one couldn't help but be appalled all the while stare, it was like a cat was being decapitated right before us. WTF where you on John? Seriously.
Well once 11 hit and I noticed folks were suddenly disappearing (I was obvi on late call since the fucking already began and sex was now steaming from the sex room), I made my way over to see wassup and WOOOF, what a sight! Four dudes fucking openly on the single springy mattress in the room, just poundin' ass, dudes lined up against the adjacent wall, stroking their meats or fringe-fucking a dude. I decided to do my WallFlower Petal Dance, whereby I follow along the wall, find a nice spot, scan the room, and participate as I can. Well guy #1 finds me, starts messin' with my nipple and stroking my throbbing cock. Wee, I'm in on the action now! Glance his way and notice the dude must be in his late 30's to midish 40's. Ew, I'd never dude this guy on the street. Well we get into some good gridin' since he activated Leo Fernando quite well (Leo Fernando hasn't been out in well over a CENTURY, so he's definitely lettin' out a roar!) So much so, that I start attracting guys #2 'n #3, 2 who strokes my cock whilest grinding my cock with 1 and 3 who eats my ass out and gives it a hot finger. ScheiBe, my cock's getting hard remembering. Well he gives it a nice finger, I'm moaning and groaning, totally into the situation. Of course, I'm very impromptu, so I prop my ass up and out for him to go a bit further. I meant two or three fingers further, I wanted my hole open. NOT fuck me sans condom further. Guess what? I felt his hot cock in my hole further. Nice, thick meaty head. WOW. Leo Fernando is VERY HAPPY right now, I ride his cock for a few minutes when BAM, unloads in my hot fat ass. lol, he got off so quick and was apologizing but I of course took it as an ultimate compliment and he glad I was glad. So guy #3 walks off with a very large Grin, unfortunately signaling to guy #4 I'm good. BTW, the few minutes was about 4 'cause his ass cam fast and but long and I was surprised by his leaving my hole so soon. Just so I don't forget, I'm still pounding Guy #1, 30's-40's. Guy #2, 40's, possibly 30's as his hair is still red, Guy #3, 20's-30's, and now Guy #4, black dude, lovin' my hole and eating the fresh cum drippin' out.
Not even 20 minutes into this and I'm already cum-filled, WTF! I think I'm HIV+ now but I pray not. Well guy #4 inserts his long dick in my ass and hands it a pounding, WOOF, in love again, and this one cums quick too. WTF! Am I that hot? He's grinnin' as he walks away. Wow, magic ass of mine, lol. Still hopin' I ain't +.
So Guy #5 decides to take a chance and fondles me here and there, of course Guy #1 leaves since we've been griding this entire time and he wanted me to top him, didn't have the heart unfortunately for him to tell him I'm a bottom too, primarily because my dick's so sensitive and I can't keep it hard unless we're on the mattress.
Well Guy #5, I can't remember if this is smelly dude or not but I'll say it is.
By now I'm 1hr-2hrs into the party when smelly dude comes up to me. He's prolly 50's-60's-ish. I know, EW. but wtf, the guy has a thick dick and he wants to fuck me! Unfortunately he has the problem to want to speak while fucking, want to get to know. Uggers... Thankfully he can fuck because that was THE only thing offsetting his constant need to talk. So much so we end up fucking until the absolute end of the party, 2AM the next day. WOW. I know, he could keep up, I could keep up. Fucking like bunnies. Had waaaay too many rules regarding how he likes to fuck but shit he taught me a bit more. I think I have a new posish too, hehe. But he was good, nice thick dick, I'd totally be his bf if ONLY he showered, I wouldn't mind if he wanted me to soap and lather his ass up and clean it, shit, just smell good and you can fuck me anytime! Proper hygiene guys! I thought I stank but wtf! Anywhew, the dude's also into some nasty shit, wants me to grow dick cheese so he can sniff and maybe more. Together everybody: EWWWWWWWW!!!!
SO yes, I was fucked by no more than 7 guys, including an asian dude who kept all his clothes on and was just scanning and couldn't get anything, poor guy, had him put on a CD since smelly dude had to lesson me on barebacking, and asain dude rode my ass 'til he came, I gave him a nice ride lol. But he loved it. Came quick too, thank me head bow style and left. Yay, score +1 fer the Fernando!
Well I'm definitely happy of course, shower up and head home with my own gift nicely stuffed in my ass. Though I did clean out most of the cum before I left, I know there was still some deep inside me :D
However, let's pray I don't have ANY STDs, specifically HIV. PRAY!
Wednesday, April 16, 2008
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