fuck medicine...

ugh, my ass has been on this emotional bender for the greatest amount of time thus far, stemming from monday last week til today and still ongoing.


At first I thought it might have been a reaction to me suddenly stopping the herbal supplements I had been taking, that this aggressive emotional imbalance might be a side-effect of suddenly dropping a new medication routine, only to realize that such a shit wouldn't last more than a few days, and shouldn't occur days after ending a med routine.


I am grateful, VERY GRATEFUL, as horrible as I may show it, if ever. EBG, know that I love what you do for me, and like you way too much for you to leave me anytime soon. Sappy as it is, but you've been one of the few pillars of support that have kept me stable.


So once again I go on the pursuit of love. on Adam4Adam. Ugh. Well in my pursuit I find a guy my heart automatically flutters for. Mind you, throughout my time in the world of sex, I have learned to differentiate between lust and love, want and need. This guy seemed like a want at first, my latest catch - but it became more than that immediately, I have yet to meet him and I sense something more. I sense this desire to more than be with him, to more than fuck him/be fucked. I sense I need to grow with him, get old, raise children, the dogs, the horses and cattle on our farm in Wisconsin- the hell? Where are all these strange ass thoughts coming from?

I message him, and because I'm a bitch and need to remember everything, his name is Ciro aka yardley. Well, some days go by before I actually get a response - wha? At first he's all 'hey, hi, how are ya', I'm all, 'you list as working in IT? you trying to hone in on my PC game here at home?' and he's all 'naw, my ex used to do that, i don't know any of it' etc, etc. Well some more txts fly by when finally we decided to meet - well fuck do I get happy, I'm fucking inebriated on the fact that we get to meet! WOOT! Well, we do meet at his place, which is about a 5 minute walk from me - HOW GREAT?! FINALLY I CAN HAVE MYSELF A BOYFRIEND WITHIN MINUTES OF ME!

Get to his place, he had been complaining earlier of his back and I told him I'd give him a massage. Usually I'm really good but I'm nervous about pulling off his shirt so I do it with his shirt on which is just bad and not up to the standards I strive for - he pulls it off and instantly I burn up at the site of his flesh, his body is AMAZING, he's toned yet fleshy, this great suppleness to his body. I begin working up my masseur skills and this time I finally get to a level I feel confident in, working his lower back and his shoulders, aiming for stress points and focusing on dispelling the tension in his back. This gets him going to the point of light moaning and shifting, he flips around and begins reciprocating my sexual tension, kissing me, grabbing my face down towards his, leaning me in to him, his lips so fucking soft, the feel of them, glorious against mine. Hastily we tear each other's clothes off, nearly ripping mine off as his undoes his pants. I'm there on his bed in my underwear, he's hovering above me in his, cocks hard, we begin to grind.

Ciro has a massive member, a really thick fucking dick and I can sense the thickness of his cock against me and easily make out he's around 3" at the base of his cock, not measuring under his sack but solely his cock alone, rivaling the size of EBG's cock, if not besting it in girth but not length. The heat of out makeout session grows intensely, and candles he has lit earlier begin to flicker wildly and grow slightly, pouring more light into the room. I can make out his features even further as his gets up to take a breathe and check me out, he's fucking GLORIOUS, his body is amazing and I'm absolutely INFATUATED - is that it? Is this not love but infatuation? Fuck.

We resume our passion, underwear flies across the room, he begins working on me; the nape of my neck, my chest, my belly - to which he jokingly blows into my belly button, face fully in my stomach, making a farting noise as you would your child - a giggle from both of us and he continues downward, I'm loving EVERY FUCKING BIT, this is new, this is exciting, and this is what I anticipated and more. He senses what I want and I'm not nervous or tense any more, I'm willing and ready. He sniffs my crotch, sniffs my freshly washed skin and begins to lick my throbbing cock - FUCK does his tongue feel amazing, I'm already pre-cumming as I always do but this- this is insane, it's wild.

He works my cock over, works it thoroughly without leaving me slobbering wet, and then comes up and begins to kiss me. Whoa, his lips are amazing; soft, full and so fucking kissable, suckable, moist.