Frozen showers...
So cold as I lose my breath
laying alone cold on a nylon slip-covered mattress
freezing as I exhale
cold, freezing water
cancerous white suds, shampoo, rinse, repeat
frozen water running on nerve-dead shins
the goosebumps that form as the water hits me bare
raw, naked, and fucking cold.
When I lay awake at night, blanketless
I grab the only thing to keep me sane
a full body pillow
suds on my rear
did I wash behind my ears?
the boiler's broken.
I took a frozen shower.
- Fernando N, 10/2/08
Thursday, October 02, 2008
Monday, September 15, 2008
FUCK
my ass is still awake, all thanks to EBG's fuckability-ing.
After a hawt buttfuck, I rode around Chelsea on my bike a bit to see if I could find a food joint open to feed my sudden gripping hunger, evident by the noises arises through my esophagus into my head; some really deep, thunderous tones- really freaky shit.
Well didn't find crap so I thought I'd head to Union Sq. to either relax a bit or enter the subway at that station rather than the 8th Ave, when heading towards 6th Ave I noticed the new Diner (that's been there close to a year now) and decided to stop in. Fuckers, nothing's vegan, 'cept the Linguine Primavera which I didn't want but fuck, anything at this point, and a Berry Energizer, a shake sans any fucking cow by-product. -$23 dollars later (never fucking going there again) I had to handle a hot ass box of food and my steel-frame heavy ass bike (WITH NEW ASID PERFORMANCE BRAKES!!! And calibrated shifting, so it's like-new, aptly named 'Bikey') down into Union Sq.'s subway entrance and onto the platform, into the train, ride the fucking ever-slow-as-fuck L train into Brooklyn, maneuver the bike out the fucking car ('cause fucking idiots couldn't give me the right of way DESPITE MY BIG ASS AND MY BIG MOUNTAIN BIKE BLOCKING THE EXIT) with one hand while juggling the food box, head up a flight of steps (took the elevator for the second, fuck another set of steps) and ride a somewhat-smooth ride home. Ugh, my ass did it ghetto-style and settled on the front steps to bite into my food before hell froze over, my food with it.
Food was good, reminding me why I don't like italians, bread had butter on it so I have to scrap half of it, ugh, and the salad was a no-no so I packaged that for my momma tomorrow (or today) mornin'. Shake was fucking freaky; uber foamy with this weird spicy kick, hope the fucking mexicans working at the diner didn't spit in it. Privileged fucks.
Anywhew, Brandy's coming back out?! *GLEE* Onliest black bitch to run in 5" HEELED BOOTS- FIVE. INCH. HEELED. BOOTS. WTF. So ghetto supreme, very ferosh. Well she's dropping a new album called Human this November 11th, and the first single's called "Right Here (Departed)". Sounds tight, just ready for a winter-y season, despite warm winds here in NY on a monday, but yea, just right, vid's a bit meh though, girl be tripping juxtaposing herself in all freaky types of ways...
link: http://vids.myspace.com/index.cfm?fuseaction=vids.individual&VideoID=42186203
After a hawt buttfuck, I rode around Chelsea on my bike a bit to see if I could find a food joint open to feed my sudden gripping hunger, evident by the noises arises through my esophagus into my head; some really deep, thunderous tones- really freaky shit.
Well didn't find crap so I thought I'd head to Union Sq. to either relax a bit or enter the subway at that station rather than the 8th Ave, when heading towards 6th Ave I noticed the new Diner (that's been there close to a year now) and decided to stop in. Fuckers, nothing's vegan, 'cept the Linguine Primavera which I didn't want but fuck, anything at this point, and a Berry Energizer, a shake sans any fucking cow by-product. -$23 dollars later (never fucking going there again) I had to handle a hot ass box of food and my steel-frame heavy ass bike (WITH NEW ASID PERFORMANCE BRAKES!!! And calibrated shifting, so it's like-new, aptly named 'Bikey') down into Union Sq.'s subway entrance and onto the platform, into the train, ride the fucking ever-slow-as-fuck L train into Brooklyn, maneuver the bike out the fucking car ('cause fucking idiots couldn't give me the right of way DESPITE MY BIG ASS AND MY BIG MOUNTAIN BIKE BLOCKING THE EXIT) with one hand while juggling the food box, head up a flight of steps (took the elevator for the second, fuck another set of steps) and ride a somewhat-smooth ride home. Ugh, my ass did it ghetto-style and settled on the front steps to bite into my food before hell froze over, my food with it.
Food was good, reminding me why I don't like italians, bread had butter on it so I have to scrap half of it, ugh, and the salad was a no-no so I packaged that for my momma tomorrow (or today) mornin'. Shake was fucking freaky; uber foamy with this weird spicy kick, hope the fucking mexicans working at the diner didn't spit in it. Privileged fucks.
Anywhew, Brandy's coming back out?! *GLEE* Onliest black bitch to run in 5" HEELED BOOTS- FIVE. INCH. HEELED. BOOTS. WTF. So ghetto supreme, very ferosh. Well she's dropping a new album called Human this November 11th, and the first single's called "Right Here (Departed)". Sounds tight, just ready for a winter-y season, despite warm winds here in NY on a monday, but yea, just right, vid's a bit meh though, girl be tripping juxtaposing herself in all freaky types of ways...
link: http://vids.myspace.com/index.cfm?fuseaction=vids.individual&VideoID=42186203
Friday, September 05, 2008
stomach aches, thinner thighs, and 6-cells...
UPDATE: this is for EBG! the shit I was telling him about ages ago;
Click here for foonay
Opening today's blog with a surprising! (and very NOT surprising) note:
My Hispanic-ass has been arrested. Not the entirety of me, no, 'cause Fernando don't play that, but the majority of my ass-region and parts of moi where my skin is tanned past khaki. Meh. So very stupid of me (WHY FERNANDO!?)
'Tis/'Twas a minor offense and should/shall/was removed from my record.
But yes, currently eating almonds and drinking Tymbark (a polish brand of super-natural fruit juice blends) and fer some reason, either this juice mixture in particular or these damn almonds are making me get up and go to the bathroom ev'ry 4 secs, but that's no so bad, as long as my thighs are thinning out, losing a cm of fat or more every so often.
Which, by the way, being held in booking TOOK FOREVER. Being arrested is overrated here in the States (France was mucho worse) but the annoying part is you're moved from cell to cell depending how far along the paper process you are- which is literally fucking easy to document. After 6 cells (the 3rd being the fucking LONGEST), you see a judge, they order you to come back at a later date for a real hearing, and you're out. 16 hours, but meh, 'twas worth seeing me lose an inch of my thighs, they're firmer and more booty-ful (versus the bootylicious they were before).
Aside from that, life has been a plesant hell-hole. Temporarily re-awoken thoughts of suicide and frustration, some more arguments between me and the parentals, and the realization that Staples is a toxic fucking nightmare with the wrong manager at the pedal. No longer working at Staples, I'm now looking at the hopes that my resume is approved by *gasp* American Apparel! Hopefully they say yes (WISH ME LUCK!) and I'm one of there new IT guys, in a REAL IT environment, not the phony shit Staples claimed to be giving me.
More awesome sex with the Easy Button Guy, and hearing now and then from Fire Island Will, turned 20! *GASP* I'm fucking old! But meh, feeling no different except arrestable (vs the arresting-ing? I was the jailbait? yea, i miss that.)
Slowly going through my harddrive and deleting shit, trying to reorganize my digital life. my H.U.D. (or heads up display) is chunky, but organized, gonna have that cleaned out further soon.
My Easy Button has been super-sensitive as of recently, but still ever so pleasurizing (since it doesn't feel the pleasure, but I, nee Fernando does). Stopped using this de-sensitizing shit I used to use, and have been juggling around lubes (KY finishes so fucking fast), hopefully though, I'll get EBG to put on some Magnum Thins and really pound me out- no need for lubes though, 'cause KY's super long lasting (he thought I just wanted to rough fuck sans lube- No silly! KY was still fresh... as gross as that now sounds, ew). But yessir, gonna have my assizzle pounded *crosses fingers*
Been saving up now! Woot, I've reversed the money bandwagon and have been holding off on spending on ANYTHING, even food, I've been stinggy (stin-gee, as in astringent, or to be restrictive on what's to be done, ie. not paying for shit) all the way like the jew I-is-not.
Got EBG to sit down with me and watch Pam Ann's Come Fly With Me, (I think) He loved it (But I'm not sure, "the stairCAA-aaassse"), hopefully I can get him to watch the Blair Witch Project with me; don't like Horror flicks, bleh, GROW A PAIR! I was tormented for a week after the Blair, you can definitely handle it.
GOT MY BIKEY FIXED UP! OMFG! Front Brake works! Gear Shifts (sorta) work! (the larger, 3rd crank is shot, needa new set), just gotta get my Back Brakes up to speed.
hrm... trying to remember what else. My cock appears longer? I've been able to stroke it vs the fucking semi-card shuffle i _thought_ was "stroking".
That and I invented (in my head) a new coffee blend, called 'the Fernando Express',
recipe:
1 large (preferably) plastic cup
filled with ice
three/four shots of expresso
1 shot of [your choice of flavor, usually vanilla] syrup
add soy to fill it near-brim and sugar water until desired sweetness is met. Mix it like bitch shaking a polaroid, and you're good to go!
More than 4 of these and your vision will fade out, as mine had when I first had these.
Ps. It's basically a latte sans milk, with flavored syrup.
Click here for foonay
Opening today's blog with a surprising! (and very NOT surprising) note:
My Hispanic-ass has been arrested. Not the entirety of me, no, 'cause Fernando don't play that, but the majority of my ass-region and parts of moi where my skin is tanned past khaki. Meh. So very stupid of me (WHY FERNANDO!?)
'Tis/'Twas a minor offense and should/shall/was removed from my record.
But yes, currently eating almonds and drinking Tymbark (a polish brand of super-natural fruit juice blends) and fer some reason, either this juice mixture in particular or these damn almonds are making me get up and go to the bathroom ev'ry 4 secs, but that's no so bad, as long as my thighs are thinning out, losing a cm of fat or more every so often.
Which, by the way, being held in booking TOOK FOREVER. Being arrested is overrated here in the States (France was mucho worse) but the annoying part is you're moved from cell to cell depending how far along the paper process you are- which is literally fucking easy to document. After 6 cells (the 3rd being the fucking LONGEST), you see a judge, they order you to come back at a later date for a real hearing, and you're out. 16 hours, but meh, 'twas worth seeing me lose an inch of my thighs, they're firmer and more booty-ful (versus the bootylicious they were before).
Aside from that, life has been a plesant hell-hole. Temporarily re-awoken thoughts of suicide and frustration, some more arguments between me and the parentals, and the realization that Staples is a toxic fucking nightmare with the wrong manager at the pedal. No longer working at Staples, I'm now looking at the hopes that my resume is approved by *gasp* American Apparel! Hopefully they say yes (WISH ME LUCK!) and I'm one of there new IT guys, in a REAL IT environment, not the phony shit Staples claimed to be giving me.
More awesome sex with the Easy Button Guy, and hearing now and then from Fire Island Will, turned 20! *GASP* I'm fucking old! But meh, feeling no different except arrestable (vs the arresting-ing? I was the jailbait? yea, i miss that.)
Slowly going through my harddrive and deleting shit, trying to reorganize my digital life. my H.U.D. (or heads up display) is chunky, but organized, gonna have that cleaned out further soon.
My Easy Button has been super-sensitive as of recently, but still ever so pleasurizing (since it doesn't feel the pleasure, but I, nee Fernando does). Stopped using this de-sensitizing shit I used to use, and have been juggling around lubes (KY finishes so fucking fast), hopefully though, I'll get EBG to put on some Magnum Thins and really pound me out- no need for lubes though, 'cause KY's super long lasting (he thought I just wanted to rough fuck sans lube- No silly! KY was still fresh... as gross as that now sounds, ew). But yessir, gonna have my assizzle pounded *crosses fingers*
Been saving up now! Woot, I've reversed the money bandwagon and have been holding off on spending on ANYTHING, even food, I've been stinggy (stin-gee, as in astringent, or to be restrictive on what's to be done, ie. not paying for shit) all the way like the jew I-is-not.
Got EBG to sit down with me and watch Pam Ann's Come Fly With Me, (I think) He loved it (But I'm not sure, "the stairCAA-aaassse"), hopefully I can get him to watch the Blair Witch Project with me; don't like Horror flicks, bleh, GROW A PAIR! I was tormented for a week after the Blair, you can definitely handle it.
GOT MY BIKEY FIXED UP! OMFG! Front Brake works! Gear Shifts (sorta) work! (the larger, 3rd crank is shot, needa new set), just gotta get my Back Brakes up to speed.
hrm... trying to remember what else. My cock appears longer? I've been able to stroke it vs the fucking semi-card shuffle i _thought_ was "stroking".
That and I invented (in my head) a new coffee blend, called 'the Fernando Express',
recipe:
1 large (preferably) plastic cup
filled with ice
three/four shots of expresso
1 shot of [your choice of flavor, usually vanilla] syrup
add soy to fill it near-brim and sugar water until desired sweetness is met. Mix it like bitch shaking a polaroid, and you're good to go!
More than 4 of these and your vision will fade out, as mine had when I first had these.
Ps. It's basically a latte sans milk, with flavored syrup.
Wednesday, August 06, 2008
the best post-sex short sleep...
... i've had in ages! MONTHS!... or like 2 months, 7 days. blah blah to be exact.
And it was with my man Rob. Yessir, he's been named, woot! (i wonder if he'll strangle me?) but yessir, my Easy Button guy has awoken and put my ass to sleep with the fell swoop of his mighty cock, his bracing arms, his scathing hairiness, and his (surprisingly) hot-hotness.
Hrmp. What about Will?
Work has been dreadful. Rob's right- being vegan has caused my mood swings to go way, and i mean waaaaaaaaaaaaay up hill. My diet currently only being rice, beans and water doesn't contribute to my total wellness, although I'd like to submit to the jury that I _do_ gain that super boost in energy. Never before have I been able to work through an entire day without breaking down at some point and needing a nap, thus fucking over my sleep pattern. But now? I sleep well (albeit a bit boxy) and I sleep longer periods (albeit as long as I'm not asked to move.) At least I'm clean.
And I need to fix my financial scenario NOW! and FUCKING KILL BALLY'S, asshole made my debit account go under AGAIN, how the fuck does one OWE on a debit account?! Nigga, if they ain't no money in the bank, they ain't no money to be taken. Assholes. Blah, at least Commerce actually offers TOTALLY FREE banking, fucking WaMu, BoA, and Chase all have some shitty workup just to get free banking.
meh, i'm pooped, my co-workers are noticing my blehness, and my hair's gone *tear* WHAT AM I DOING TO MYSELF?! (Rob, don't answer that.)
And it was with my man Rob. Yessir, he's been named, woot! (i wonder if he'll strangle me?) but yessir, my Easy Button guy has awoken and put my ass to sleep with the fell swoop of his mighty cock, his bracing arms, his scathing hairiness, and his (surprisingly) hot-hotness.
Hrmp. What about Will?
Work has been dreadful. Rob's right- being vegan has caused my mood swings to go way, and i mean waaaaaaaaaaaaay up hill. My diet currently only being rice, beans and water doesn't contribute to my total wellness, although I'd like to submit to the jury that I _do_ gain that super boost in energy. Never before have I been able to work through an entire day without breaking down at some point and needing a nap, thus fucking over my sleep pattern. But now? I sleep well (albeit a bit boxy) and I sleep longer periods (albeit as long as I'm not asked to move.) At least I'm clean.
And I need to fix my financial scenario NOW! and FUCKING KILL BALLY'S, asshole made my debit account go under AGAIN, how the fuck does one OWE on a debit account?! Nigga, if they ain't no money in the bank, they ain't no money to be taken. Assholes. Blah, at least Commerce actually offers TOTALLY FREE banking, fucking WaMu, BoA, and Chase all have some shitty workup just to get free banking.
meh, i'm pooped, my co-workers are noticing my blehness, and my hair's gone *tear* WHAT AM I DOING TO MYSELF?! (Rob, don't answer that.)
Thursday, July 24, 2008
apricot sperm.
just finished masturbating- wow, am I really blogging this?
My cock was throbbing, VERY HARD, got solid really fast, is it used to my easy button being pounded at 12:28AM every day? Have I created a new habitual cycle? very unlike me.
Fucking cum went flying, EVERYWHERE. On my toes, on my CLEAN PAIR OF UNDIES, on my wrist, all over my palms. And I found the easiest way to clean up is, what better? than by swallowing my own cum :D Protein intake AND I get to judge how well I've been eating. Well holy cow (or holy soybean?) has there been a change. I've been downing apricot by the sillyzen, and I'm getting up to grab two now, made a major influence in how I taste, very fluidy (VERY FLUIDY), not salty nor bitter, very alkaline.
Welp, gotta run and get my washed apricots! The Boondocks just came on on Adult Swim, can't miss my nigga cartoon!
BTW, anyone know if Dr. Pepper is vegan? Wtf is in that list of 23 flavors? Taurine, EDTA, and boiled pork bones (ala US Gelatin)??
My cock was throbbing, VERY HARD, got solid really fast, is it used to my easy button being pounded at 12:28AM every day? Have I created a new habitual cycle? very unlike me.
Fucking cum went flying, EVERYWHERE. On my toes, on my CLEAN PAIR OF UNDIES, on my wrist, all over my palms. And I found the easiest way to clean up is, what better? than by swallowing my own cum :D Protein intake AND I get to judge how well I've been eating. Well holy cow (or holy soybean?) has there been a change. I've been downing apricot by the sillyzen, and I'm getting up to grab two now, made a major influence in how I taste, very fluidy (VERY FLUIDY), not salty nor bitter, very alkaline.
Welp, gotta run and get my washed apricots! The Boondocks just came on on Adult Swim, can't miss my nigga cartoon!
BTW, anyone know if Dr. Pepper is vegan? Wtf is in that list of 23 flavors? Taurine, EDTA, and boiled pork bones (ala US Gelatin)??
Wednesday, July 23, 2008
no fucking sex- I NEED MY EASY BUTTON PUSHED!!
So I'm the new Easy Resident Tech at store 1733 (Staples Express on Fresh Pond Rd in Queens) and I'm loving it- wish I didn't have to really do floor sales but I'm learning and getting good at it.
Har har, noooooo, I'm not an "Easy" tech, bitch. Ain't no one gettin' into my pants that easy.
Onto clarifying last post's tongue whetter-
No, I no longer have 5 guys in my life, CALM YOUR ASS YOU-KNOW-WHO. lol, I had many weeks before I met the current man in my life, now it's a split decision between two guys, and unfortunately, Imma have to drop 1. Poo.
Currently, I'm lounging with this sexy beast- hairy, muscular, manly, encompassing. Lovin' him and lovin' his fire. He can pound me and work my energy. Very good stuff.
But I have Fire Island Will. I can't skip him too, can I?
I loved what we had while on vacation, I loved how we slept together, how I worked into him and he worked into me (and this dude is also packing, gawd, why do I always get the hole-stretching big fish?!)
Well yuppers, 2 guys. Poo. Not seeing Fire Island Will, not in love with him, but I wonder if there's a chance for something really good being with him.
Seeing Easy Button Guy, not in love with him (and I don't wanna say anything that'll ruin what we have [I HOPE I HAVEN'T!]), but I kinda know where I stand with him, and I like that.
Fuck, I'm distracted every fucking second by the tele.
Well let's wrap this post asap before commercials are over:
-Fire Island (I HOPE!) this weekend! wooooo, just gotta _not_ blow my mula.
-Just hit 169 lbs this morning... ONE SIXTY! wooo, finally getting to 150! and soon -I'll be all buff and sexy. I just needed put my body into ketosis one more time and shed these last few pounds immediately, then I can start toning.
-Fucking binging on rice now (fucking Tropical Restaurant didn't want to accept my card 'cause my order was under $12 and my usual girl wasn't there, so I couldn't buy rice & beans earlier, now I'm binging much later before bed, gurrrr.)
-Figuring out my financial situation and how I can move the fuck out ASAP. EBG has pointed out how toxic my parents are (not that I wasn't aware) but finally made it so obvious that it really is hurting me.
Har har, noooooo, I'm not an "Easy" tech, bitch. Ain't no one gettin' into my pants that easy.
Onto clarifying last post's tongue whetter-
No, I no longer have 5 guys in my life, CALM YOUR ASS YOU-KNOW-WHO. lol, I had many weeks before I met the current man in my life, now it's a split decision between two guys, and unfortunately, Imma have to drop 1. Poo.
Currently, I'm lounging with this sexy beast- hairy, muscular, manly, encompassing. Lovin' him and lovin' his fire. He can pound me and work my energy. Very good stuff.
But I have Fire Island Will. I can't skip him too, can I?
I loved what we had while on vacation, I loved how we slept together, how I worked into him and he worked into me (and this dude is also packing, gawd, why do I always get the hole-stretching big fish?!)
Well yuppers, 2 guys. Poo. Not seeing Fire Island Will, not in love with him, but I wonder if there's a chance for something really good being with him.
Seeing Easy Button Guy, not in love with him (and I don't wanna say anything that'll ruin what we have [I HOPE I HAVEN'T!]), but I kinda know where I stand with him, and I like that.
Fuck, I'm distracted every fucking second by the tele.
Well let's wrap this post asap before commercials are over:
-Fire Island (I HOPE!) this weekend! wooooo, just gotta _not_ blow my mula.
-Just hit 169 lbs this morning... ONE SIXTY! wooo, finally getting to 150! and soon -I'll be all buff and sexy. I just needed put my body into ketosis one more time and shed these last few pounds immediately, then I can start toning.
-Fucking binging on rice now (fucking Tropical Restaurant didn't want to accept my card 'cause my order was under $12 and my usual girl wasn't there, so I couldn't buy rice & beans earlier, now I'm binging much later before bed, gurrrr.)
-Figuring out my financial situation and how I can move the fuck out ASAP. EBG has pointed out how toxic my parents are (not that I wasn't aware) but finally made it so obvious that it really is hurting me.
Wednesday, July 09, 2008
so fucking tired...
Well life has truly been fun thus far; landed a jerb @ Staples as the Easy Resident Tech (which is a great title but doesn't necessarily mean I don't have to do Floor Sales) and I've been managing my weight/watching as it slowly descends and rises around the 176lbs mark. Trying to manage my time and help friends all the while remain calm and poised to pull off the unthinkable, living flat-ass-broke this past week hasn't helped though and I've let many down on their expectations of me, right now I'm trying to win back their trust.
Don't wanna go into details on that just yet, just some bland text to get your tongue a little wet.
Well I have 3? no 4? no 5 boyfriends? nope, just 1, and he's coming back from Toronto soon, I'm dying of anxiety as I wait for his sexy ass to return and for him to hold me in his arms- right now I'm playing Fernando-safe and I shall be going into testing tomorrow mornin', gotta make sure I stay Neg. on all that nasty stuff!
Unfortunately, I'm pulling hairs on what to do with my current situation. Oh well, I'll let it play out and see what happens.
Now you just sit their a salivate. Details shall be posted next time around :D
Don't wanna go into details on that just yet, just some bland text to get your tongue a little wet.
Well I have 3? no 4? no 5 boyfriends? nope, just 1, and he's coming back from Toronto soon, I'm dying of anxiety as I wait for his sexy ass to return and for him to hold me in his arms- right now I'm playing Fernando-safe and I shall be going into testing tomorrow mornin', gotta make sure I stay Neg. on all that nasty stuff!
Unfortunately, I'm pulling hairs on what to do with my current situation. Oh well, I'll let it play out and see what happens.
Now you just sit their a salivate. Details shall be posted next time around :D
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